October 31

“Why is it that the people who need the most help refuse to take it” -Jessie Burns ” A River Runs Through It”

There are times that a person faces obstacles in their life, they can ask for help but choose not to because of high ego’s or even the restrictions they have on themselves. The problem can be serious but they will not ask for help even though it might result them in failing or not even getting through that obstacle.

Since our childhood our society has thought us that you need to be strong, independent and not to take help unless you are in a position where you are stuck and have no other option but to ask. This causes people to get a fear built up inside of them due to them not wanting to look weak, to lack being independent. If we develop such beliefs that we cannot look weak or our pride takes over, this will cause more damage to in the future because its like a sickness if its not treated on time it will slowly affect the individual more. But one of the biggest reason of why people don’t seek help is because of the belief that we can solve all our problem ourselves or we are scared of people judging us and criticizing us.

Growing up and becoming more independent is how life is supposed to be. I’ve felt that I’ve connected to this topic due to the fact that I wasn’t the most independent person until grade 7. I used to get my mom to help me with homework and projects and she constantly told me that I needed to start being more independent because she couldn’t help me when I got to high school. I started doing better in school when I became more independent and it made me feel good and I was always thinking that I was a smart kid. In grade 11 I started to struggle in Chemistry and I wasn’t asking for help and it affected my marks. I was to scared to ask for help and tried to solve my problem myself but it wasn’t working, and I finally realized that I would need to change my attitude if I wanted to succeed in my goal of doing good in chemistry. I decided to ask more questions in class and stayed after school a couple of days and got extra help and that showed a positive impact on my marks and it helped me succeed in my goal.

 

“Fear Kills More Dreams Than Failure Will Ever” -Unknown

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2018-10-team-brain-region-suppresses.html

 

October 31

The Burden of Staying Silent

Why is it that people who need the most help, won’t take it?

Image result for accepting help

We all have experienced multiple times in our lives when we require the help of others. We don’t ever and will never know all the answers, to satisfy our curiosity or understand everything that it takes to thrive and be successful, and we certainly don’t expect the same for others.

The primary reason why people would rather stay trapped in confusion and fight their eagerness and concerns than reach out and be enlightened, is because of fear.  I relate to this is my own life, where I fear that I will be criticized, rejected, or be told no. I also think it’s mainly because fear is being seen as “less than or weaker”, and not a state of vulnerability  that allows for people to come to terms of accepting why they are the way they are and expose the way they really feel. Sometimes, it comes from a place a realizing your failures and damaging your reputation. Other times, for me especially, it can be because, I don’t want to appear to be needy and bother others, or make them feel that they are responsible for carrying my weights for me.

Being told “no” is a very simple yet bold statement, that doesn’t need to be as complicated and difficult for us to comprehend as others make it seem. Instead of always perceiving this word with a negative connotation, it’s important to look at it from another perspective. Rather of thinking that being told no is your last chance and a setback when it is said, maybe the best thing to do in that moment is to accept it and move on and work harder for myself and my journey instead of diverting from it. If I kept on refusing to get help then at least I know not to waste my time and energy on something or someone that possibly wasn’t even worth it in the first place, and so with that being said, you can guide yourself to someone who will say yes and be appreciative and considerate for who you really set yourself out to be.

Asking for help, allows you to gain the ability to move forward, learn and the opportunity to collaborate. Instead of being stranded in the moment, you know how to proceed. Not believing that I could ask for help, or seek advice and assistance, wouldn’t get me to the place I am in now and the opportunities that I have been so lucky to be given a chance to partake in. While not everyone is able to say “yes,” people are often respected by that request. It means you admire their expertise or abilities enough to inquire knowledge from them.

Overall, I also strongly believe that not accepting help comes from a place of not wanting to expose ones vulnerability. You are pressured with the burden of trying to be as strong as possible for the sake of yourself and for those you lead. That you have to keep everything together all the time, and not show any indication of weakness. The truth is, that being vulnerable requires an incredible amount of courage and courage requires strength.

It takes more strength to open up and be truthful about the way you feel, than covering yourself with a mask to hide away your fears and insecurities.

It takes more strength to free yourself than be trapped.

It takes more strength to push forward than to hold back.

And finally, it takes more strength to risk personal destruction for the hopes of achieving something bigger than ignoring the circumstances.

Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

I am no stranger to feeling afflicted and helpless. But because I am able to acknowledge the presence of these emotions, I am able to carry on and live my life without regret. And this is all because, I know when to ask for help and I don’t let vulnerability defeat or define me in any way, but let it be my sign of direction. 

Sources: https://twitter.com/shinybluedress/status/917691296290148353

October 31

I Got You – Brothers Keeper

Teens nowadays seem to look at their siblings as an inconvenience to their lives because they have to be their guardian. In the film, A River Runs Through It, this kind of relationship of brother’s keeper is seen through Neal and Jessie. The younger sister, Jessie, wants to protect her older brother, Neal, however, Neal resists her assistance. I acknowledge the fact that I too have the same trouble with my brother, Ethan, who is unwilling to accept any help. Sometimes no matter how hard one sibling tries to help another, assistance is refused by fear of being perceived as weak.

The relationship the film creates between Neal and Jessie is a bond created from their past. Their closeness is not negatively affected by physical distance but by Neals desire to distance his emotions away from his sister. Though Neal intends for Jessie to not be concerned about him, it does the exact opposite and makes her want to understand and support him in through what he is struggling with. Jessie tries to get Norman to figure out and help Neal but it goes poorly as Neal arrives late and hungover with Old Rawhide to morning fishing with Paul and Norman. Jessie states after the failed attempt to help Neal, “Why do people who need the most help won’t take it.”  This quote shows how help is not always accepted by the people we think need to help. Without out the person with the problem realizing themselves that they need help, there is nothing a family member or friend can do to actually change that person problem.

I have never had a good recollection of my childhood but what I do remember, it involves my brother. I decided he was my best friend before he could even say my name. Since then I have continuously used him as a safety net in my stressful life. He was always there for me to not always talk but to even just sit and make sure I was not alone. I wanted to do this same thing for him as he grew up with the pressures of hockey teammates and academics but he seemed to just push me away as if I were one of the problems. I could tell he wanted to be seen as the strong one in the family who could face trials and easily brush them off but I knew that he really had been bottling up all the emotions to save me and my parents from having to worry. Without my brother realizing my constant persistence is to only try to ease some of his pain I can never truly help him. His ignorance of my help is frustrating to deal with but I do not think I could ever think of my brother as an trouble in my life because of everything he has done for me so no matter his defiance I know I will always be his favourite sister. 

October 31

Actions speak louder than words!


    Watch what they do, not what they say!


 

This statement is very unique and reliable.  Its the foundation for trust.  People say something and end up doing something else.  We need to believe in actions not words.  If anyone says something, we need to wait for them to actually do it rather then blindly trust it.  Anyone can make a statement and not follow through with it.  We have all encountered a situation like this at one point in our life.  We loose trust each time we are betrayed by words, waiting for action.  From personal experience I can say this is one of the worst feelings.  A person you trusted to do something didn’t actually do it.  Words stayed as unspoken actions.  Words show what they want us to believe what they want to do, actions show us what they have done.  This statement is also found in a famous saying “actions speak louder then words”.  This means what we do is more noticeable and credible then what we do.

“I learned not to trust people;I learned not to believe what they say but watch what they do.  I learned to suspect that everyone is capable of living a lie.  I came to believe that other people – even when you think you know them well – are ultimately unknowable.”

– Lynn Barber

This quote by Lynn Barber reflects this statement in a more in depth way.                                    Lynn Barber

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Observer/Pix/pictures/2009/6/6/1244300699827/Lynn-Barber-as-a-teenager-001.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=e8ebdd533a592a0bd90f14f7eb76cd8f

It takes the statement “watch what they do, not what they say”, and adds personal experience and credibility to it.  This quote by Lynn Barber is saying that throughout her life she learned not to trust people, learned not to believe in their words but wait for their actions.  She is saying, anyone can switch up, it doesn’t matter how long or how well you know them.  This quote I believe in word for word.  It really explains what life can teach you.  Overtime we realize we were wrong for trusting someone.  We believed in their words, waiting for action.  In Lynn Barber’s life she was betrayed by a man who she fell in love with at 16.  The man used Lynn Barber for her body and at the end left her.  This thought her not to believe people and look for betrayal in every situation.  This made her stronger at the end and showed her what people are really like. 

 

 

I can relate to this topic, “watch what they do, not what they say”.  Like everyone else I have in a situation where I relied on someone’s words rather than their actions to fulfill those words.  In grade 10 I did a social project with a kid in my class.  It was split into 2 halves and we both got one.  Initially I was gonna do it on my own but the kid begged me to partner up.  The project was due in 2 weeks and he told me he’s going to do his part and was gonna work hard on it.  A week before the due date he told me he has finished it.  I could have checked if he has or not, but i took his word for it and believed him.  On the due date of the project he came up to me and told me he hasn’t done it.  I asked him that he said he’d done it a week prior.  He told me he lied to me.  This taught me to never believe in words and always look for actions done to complete the words.  Now I give more values to someone actions rather than their words.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9pg_bHGJ8yA/maxresdefault.jpg

This image above is a visual representation of the topic “watch what they do, not what they say”.  in this image we can see a women with lots of heavy bags, and a man walking.  The man is stating, “wow!  it looks heavy.  I wish i can help…”.  Its clearly visible that the mans is free and is claiming something he can actually do.  He’s making a statement but not going through with it.  The women should watch what he does compared to what he says.

In conclusion in life we need to surround ourselves with people who do things , rather than saying they’ll do it.  Words are unspoken actions and saying something isn’t doing it.  As seen in Lynn Barber’s life, we need to actually wait for the actions then trust in words.  She quoted the experience in her life about this very thing.  The visual shows us that people will say something they wanna do in your face but not do it.  Actions always stand out and are permanent, while words are temporary.

 

 

 

October 31

Stand Up For Your Beliefs

We all have certain beliefs and moral values that we cherish, rights and wrongs that we recognize, and it is our duty to stand up for these things In life. There are often situations where these ethical values of ours are tested, such as a workplace that is being racist, or a colleague that is being discriminated against, but no matter what happens we should always stand up for what we believe is right. At times this can lead you to stand up against your boss, friends, and sometimes even family, but in the end, its all worth it because at no expense should our morals and beliefs be compromised or ignored. They are the factors that shape who we are as a person, and when we see situations where our beliefs or morals are being acted against, we should take a stand. Our morals and beliefs define who we are and when we don’t stand up for them, it defeats our purpose in life as we are being untrue with ourselves.

Image result for stand up for your beliefs

http://soundofheart.org/galacticfreepress/content/standing-your-beliefs-group-opposition-what-changes-your-world

A few years ago, in grade eight there was an experience for me in which I had to stand up for my beliefs. I had this group of friends that I had met in grade six, which was the first year I joined this school. There were only five of us but in two years all of us had become close friends. We truly cared for each other and we believed that we would be good friends for a while, maybe even forever. As we got into grade eight, the rule in our school that we could not go off campus was lifted, and so at lunch, we were able to go to the places around our school such as Seven Eleven or Pizza Hut. For the first month of the school year, everything was fine, we would often go to Seven Eleven and buy food or drinks for each other. Then this one day, none of us brought any money, one of my friends suggested we still go to Seven Eleven just for fun. As we all got there, my friends and I were talking and the same friend that suggested for us to come to Seven Eleven, suggested that we should just steal. Right away, all my other friends agreed. Then they all looked at me to also approve but instead, I shook my head in disagreement. Stealing is something that I have always been morally against, I truly believe stealing is wrong and that one should be honest by buying their own stuff. They all asked me why I disagreed and I explained to them that it is wrong, but they all persisted that it didn’t matter. After arguing for a few minutes I finally exclaimed that if they did steal from there, I would stop talking to them. I still don’t know if they didn’t take me seriously or just didn’t care, but the four of them still went inside and came back out with pockets full of candy. Afterward, I completely ditched my friends, I stopped talking to them and started hanging out with a completely different group of people, those friends often tried to contact me and get me to hang out with them, but I ignored them because at this point I had realized that they were bad company.

 We can never be afraid to stand up for what is right, no matter what others may say. And sometimes, if that means taking a lonely road, if what we are standing for is true, then perhaps moonlight or sunshine will light our way and make it less lonely.

Pramila Jayapal

My anecdote shows that one must always stand up for what is right, even if it means ditching your best friends. This quote is also explaining a similar message, conveying that you should always stand up for your beliefs even if you are alone. Furthermore, it states that if whatever we are standing up for is true to ourselves then it won’t be as lonely as it seems. Nevertheless, standing up against the wrongs of others is essential, because when one person stands up, then often several others are motivated to stand up, creating a change towards something more ethical. Not only that, living a life in which you conform to the unethical actions of others, is a life not worth living. The act of always standing up for what you believe in may be defined as courage or just plain stupidity, but even If it is truly considered stupid, then maybe we all should be stupid.

October 30

Dream career Vs. Reality

Image result for kid dreaming

A career is a job that you will have for many years to come, that is why there is a need for you to enjoy what you do. In the film we watched in class, A River Runs Through it, when Paul and Norman are young they fantasize about the jobs that they could have, professions such as professional fly fisherman, boxer, and minister come up.

When we are young we do not know of all the careers that are out there, so we are limited by our knowledge and experiences. This is also why when you ask a child what they wish to be the answers have become cliches because of responses like a police officer, firefighter, or athlete. I think we get answers like these because when kids think of what is cool these come to mind but little do they know of the many opportunities that are out there waiting for you.

When I think of any career or job in the world that I could go into the idea of a pirate comes to mind; I know when a person thinks of a dream career they want to be a doctor or lawyer but never a pirate. The appeal of being a pirate is the freedom, living a life of no rules and only having to rely on yourself. I know that they are often seen as being dirty, unhygienic, and most of them do not live to very old ages but the lives that they live and the stories that they have is seen as worth it in my eyes. I know with this career I am taking the idea of a dream job to the limit but if I could do anything this is what I would want.

Alas that is all it is, a dream, what I really want to do is be a psychologist, helping people who are unable to help themselves; in my opinion emotional damage is often worse than a physical injury because no one can see it and only you have the power to go out and get help. Only recently I talked to Ms. Gerand about my career path, I was told that to become a psychiatrist it is 13 years of university work. Though I want to help people I do not want to be over 30 years old the first time I sit down with someone to help them resolve their issues. That is why I now am working to become a psychologist, it is only an 8-year course but it is similar in that I would still sit down with people and discuss their problems.

Having a career that in which I am able to talk all day and I an actually helping someone with words is one of the most amazing ideas of a career. People who struggle with the issue of their mental health are trapped and I can see a connection with my dream of being a pirate and wanting to be free. The feeling of freedom is the most liberating feelings in the world and people with those disorders are trapped and that is why I want to help them.

 

October 30

The power of influence

prompt: Write a personal about your relationship with your sibling, or how your father or mother influenced you, or what skills or talents do you have. (inspired by Paul and Norman’s relationships/ influences)

Image result for influence

My parents have influenced me in many ways over the years in a lot of things and its not just them its also my brother, video games, and friends. Even now that I am in high school they still influence me to make good decisions and to do good in school so I can have a good life after I finish school. Through out my entire life they have wanted me to good and be successful in whatever I do.  They always tell me not to give up and fallow what I believe in. since my parents always influenced me I learned how to work on cars because that was something my dad and grand father did as well so now I have a love for cars and I work on them when ever I get a chance. this is like Paul and Norman when they go fly-fishing with there dad and like to do it when they can even on there own.

It’s not just my parents who influence me it’s my brother also who plays a roll in my life because he is always telling me if I do something to do it right. He is the reason I like to drive and like playing video games.  He tells me if I do something just to be careful. His influence on me is that he has thought me to be careful about my surroundings and make sure that I am safe when I go out for example to make sure that no one is fallowing me.

Something else that has had a big influence on my life is video games I have played them all my life and they help me relieve stress and they have thought me how not to handle some situation. I play video games on my free time so it influences me to stay in the house instead of going out alone and doing something bad. When I am not playing video games I am out with friends. Friends is something else that influences me to do things like go out and work out because I go to the gym with them and we play basket ball and work out together. I have also had a influence on my family and friends as wall the digest influence is on my friends tho because I uselessly make all the plans. I am uselessly a good influence because I have had different influences around me my entire life and I  have learned how to get people to fallow me and listen to what I say. Some times I can be a bad influences on people but I try not be because it is one thing if I get in trouble but I don’t want to be responsible for getting my friends in trouble.

In my life I have many things that influence my decision and what I do. One of my favorite quotes is “it is easier to influence strong then weak characters in life”by Margret Asquith. To me this means to take influence from strong and confident people I believe that I am one of those strong people who influences others.

October 30

“Why is it that the people who need the most help won’t take it” -Jessie Burns “A River Runs Through It”

Refusing help

There will be a point in everyone’s life where they face hardships, and that is the time where they know that they could just ask for help. But instead they choose not to due to restrictions they set on them self even if the problem is serious.

As a child, we have been taught to be strong, independent and to seek help only when we need it at the utmost urgent moment. And, throughout our childhood, we are constantly drilled with this belief of being tough,  drilled so deeply to the point where this belief has turned us into a statue. This leads to the fact that for those who need help, can not reach out because it makes them look weak,  unable to be independent,  or both. The perception of strength we develop due to the sense of pride from the actions we take, leads us to think that it is a shame if we ask for help because it ruins our pride. Over time this poisonous belief on how to solve an issue can lead to even more damaging effects if not fixed soon, such as being emotionally broken or mentally broken. But one of the biggest reasons on why individuals like us do not seek help is that due to the belief we tend to believe that we can solve all of our issues our self or we fear the judgment or criticism from others.

I have a similar instance in school that made me what I am today and that is during my elementary to middle school years when my family started to tell me to be more independent and be less reliant on others. They drilled that into me day after day and as more time went on I started to practice for tests by my self instead of asking for someone else to study with me, or even ask questions in class. My result was great, and I had a high average and was considered one of the smart kids. But it started to change when I reached middle school as subjects became more difficult and required a deeper understanding of the topic, but I still choose to keep studying by my self. Later on in the middle school years it started to prove to be a lot more difficult and started to strain my mentality and my marks as I had to balance my English school with my Chinese school, but I still refused to ask for help as I believe that my peers will judge me for being week or dumb. There was also the fact that my pride stood in the way of me asking for help because I would be throwing my pride in being a strong independent individual out the window. As a result, my marks started to plummet in English and Chinese school. After constant nagging form teachers to get me to ask questions, and the results displayed on my report card I began to reintegrate my self and others when studying  difficult concepts, but I would often find that I would slip back into studying by my self.

“Do not let your fears choose your destiny”   – Unknown

Image result for pulling off mask drawing

http://www.pinterest.ca/pin/718324209290959864/

20 Quotes on Fear

October 30

The Marathon Of Hope

“people need to know that their not alone”

When I read this quote I immediately thought of an experience that my sister had. In grade eight she was on the track team and it was her first time going to any competition. She was enjoying it so much and she even got first place in most of her races. The day started coming to an end and it was time for my sister to run her last race. Everyone was cheering so loud for all of the girls and it gave my sister the motivation to go even faster. In doing so she fell and scraped her elbow, knee’s and her back. My sister was so humiliated but when she heard that everyone was cheering for her it gave her even more motivation to get back up. She got up and she started running as fast as she could and in the process she passed two people. The crowd gave her the feeling that she was not alone and made her feel that everyone was cheering for her to finish the race. My sister didn’t even know these people and they made her feel like  everyone was rooting for her which gave her the extra strength she needed. Individuals in life are constantly needing the feeling that they are not alone and people are by their side rooting them on in life. Even if it is small or big people can make a lasting impact in others lives and make them feel like they have someone their with them even if it is a complete stranger. In life their will always be people supporting you till the very end whether you realize it or not. Their are numerous different models in life simply like this one where complete outsiders are giving a shout out to them to prevail throughout everyday life. Their was a track star and amidst his race he pulled his hamstring and it didn’t appear as though he would make it until the point that his father came surging close by to enable him to finish. His father was his crutch nearly till the end and after that he wanted to complete the race by himself. The reason that he could complete the race was because his father gave him the strength he needed to complete it.

“Never fear being alone, because you never are”

 

October 30

We Have Their Back

We Have Their Back-Journal Entry

     Friends are an important factor in an individuals life in the concept of needing comfort, support, needing someone that cares for them, a friend is needed to make someone feel loved and welcomed. Ideally when a person is feeling low that close individual should be at their side to raise them back up into feeling happy and at peace. Everyone deserves to know someone that is willing to be their for them and to have a shoulder to lean on because we should all live with a pure feeling of happiness and living at ease. However with some individuals finding that peace is more difficult and they need support, and in that situation is the important time a friend should have their back.

I try to be as supportive and caring to all my friends no matter their circumstances, no matter their story or what negativity they have to pour from their heart. Most of my friends I know are online people from around the world and I get to hear different life stories and hear their experiences in a new perspective all the time, sometimes though those stories are sad or a cry for help for someone to hear them and just give them a chance to express their sadness. Although I may just be a stranger in another country I am still a human that can lend an ear to someone who just wants to vent, and I always feel the need to help others to find their inner peace and happiness so I’ve always tried my hardest to support all of them as best as I can. What I used to do was spend an hour every morning, or my time as I was riding the bus to school, was write short paragraphs of feel good messages for each individual I knew that were struggling with their own hardships or just had difficulty being cheerful in the morning. I did this because I thought the first thing they should wake up to when they check their phone is something to make them feel good, something positive, that they can carry along with them through out their day and think back on if negativity starts pushing them down again. Eventually it got to the point where those individuals began to find positive vibes themselves and I didn’t have to write to them every morning. Now and then those people still need to vent and i’m always ready to hear and give them my fullest appreciation and support because as their friend its my duty to have their back, and that is a duty I wish to fulfill.    There are a few people however that need more than just venting, and having their back is a little more difficult…

     A sixteen year old boy named Alex, from  Arizona, is a guy I made very good friends with and i cherish every bit of him and his existence. However he has different issues and traumas that effect him mentally and started effecting him physically, these issues are difficult to help in overcoming as someone who’s in another country but as his friend I want to support him. When he was younger Alex had a harder life than any kid should live through and although he was still young he attempted (and failed) suicide through cutting. With his scars still not healed the pain of slicing his skin has become an addiction to where its the only way he finds relief and a sensation of safety within himself. Luckily however he understands that, as good as it feels to him, how terribly hes impacting himself and his stability and health. He desperately wants to change but this addiction and the urge to keep going has a grip too strong for him to break alone so he put trust in me to tell me the truth about his problem and seek comfort from me. Since we’ve met and worked together to find a safe and alternative satisfying reliever, what has became an addiction turned into a difficult to break urge. However with time and trust he managed to calm himself down to where he doesn’t find relief in pain and has broken that habit to never do it again. There are countless times he has thanked me for being there for him and having his back, and as his friend I’m pleased I was able to support him through it and be his safety net. I’m more proud in him however that he was able to find his own strength to stop his hidden suffering and live life to his fullest. He has always had my back and it was finally my time to have his, and in the end with each other support everything turned out fantastically.