What Develops Us Changes Us

     Through the span of an individual’s life, they will begin to experience many different situations that play a significant role in shaping them. In these situations one will be able to develop a sense of knowledge; and how their life will soon become. Due to these experiences an individual will form their perspective on life, allowing them to develop a sense of their identity and their morals in life.  Adequately, if these experiences and significant moments shape the very meaning of who we are, then would it not be also possible for a certain moment to change everything? In the film, A River Runs Through it, directed by Robert Redford, it shows the development of Norman; and how his life changed when he came back from university. And as he tries to restore it to the way it was a devastating experience makes sure it never does. In my experience, I witnessed something I never thought I would, and it changed the way I think completely. When an individual uses their experiences to form their perspective on life and develop a sense of who they are, this allows one particular event to have the ability to change their life.

 When an individual lives their life developing themselves and creating a home, in the sense of comfort and acceptance, this will become the very thing they come to when life takes a turn. When Norman decides to attend university in New Hampshire, he is forced to move far away from his family and leave everything behind. Through the 16 years that his father invested in him, Norman came out of university with a teaching degree, only to realize that he wanted to work in the forestry industry. After the completion of university, Norman decided to go back home to Montana to see his family after such a long time. While sitting at a dinner with his parents, Norman says that he wishes that Paul was there and his parents agree with him. Here Norman and his family are having dinner silently together, however, Paul is not there due to having to work late. This shows how because Paul isn’t  at the dinner table with everyone, the family sits in silence and only talks momentarily about Norman and his experiences in New Hampshire. This shows that Paul is a very significant part of the family and is the one that always brings joy to their faces. Through this, because of Normans departure 16 years ago, many things have changed, especially moments with his family. While Paul is at work and missing the family dinner, Norman and his parents converse awkwardly and then come to the realization that Paul is a big part of the family. Through the experiences that Norman had in a different part of the country, he became more of an outsider when he came back, showing that even he couldn’t have a pleasant dinner with his own parents. This shows how an individual can distance themselves from their own past and become someone unrecognizable to the individuals most significant in their life. But, through this an individual will try to repair these ties and alter things to be how they were in the past.

When an individual begins to fix the ties that they have broken, they will soon realize that not everything can be completely the same as before. After the dinner with his parents, Norman decides to drive so Paul to see him. When Norman gets there, Paul is surprised and refers to him as the Professor. Here Paul is showing the prestigious atmosphere that Norman brings in with him. While sitting at Paul’s desk, Paul offers Norman a drink to break the awkwardness that has developed since the moment they greeted each other. This shows that, because Norman was gone for all these years, awkwardness was even building up between him and Paul. things were never awkward between them: they would always have the ability to talk freely and without sensor. Through the time that Norman stayed in Montana, he tried to fix his connections with everyone that was significant in his past life. Even with his family they would go fishing and enjoy the day together. The fishing they did together symbolized regeneration and forgiveness. By doing this they became closer to each other. However, one devastating event made sure that all of Norman work to fit back in with his family was ruined, was the death of Paul. When Norman was the one to tell his parents that Paul had been beaten to death, everything had changed. This is shown by the fact that they began to eat dinner in the kitchen and not in the dining room, that they wouldn’t talk about anything except Paul. Through this, one can infer that this particular experience, Paul’s death, changed everyone’s outlook on life. And even showed that Paul was the glue holding the family together. This event particularly affected Norman the most, because he wasn’t able to make his parents laugh, help them enjoy events like the church BBQ: that was all Paul’s doing. And because of this Norman was not able to bring back the comfort of home that he built during his adolescence. Through this one can infer that these significant events can have an enormous toll on an individuals life. The decisions we make in our past often times decide our future; even if we don’t agree with them. Having to restore what we had in our past in order to feel accepted may not be the case when trying to; and even though we try our hardest in these situations, they prove us wrong and our lives never return to the way they were. Through this an individual will have to accept what has happened to them and instead of restoring their comfort of the past they must make something new out of it and move forward. 

In my personal experience, I had a situation where a particular event changed my life completely. As a young boy I would always see homeless people walking around in their torn up clothes asking for money with a garbage bag on their backs. And me, and innocent child would give them money; whatever I had with me at the time. However, after my mom saw me she told me something I didn’t want to hear. ̈ ̈When you give them money, they don’t go buy food with it. They go and spend it on drugs and alcohol.̈ And from then on I didn’t give anyone anything. Until one day. I was walking in the park alone and saw this homeless man in a tent just sitting down doing nothing. So I decided to give him a twenty dollar bill and see what he would do with it. He thanked me and started to walk away. After several minutes of distantly following him, he walked into a nearby ghetto liquor store and came out with a big black bag. Me, jumping to conclusions thought it was a bunch of beer cans, but, after following him for a bit I saw him reach into the black bag and begin to hand out bags of chips and water to other homeless people in the park. I was in shock. I was in shock because all those years I would see homeless people smoking directly behind my house, and taking the money they got from people for granted. But not this man. This just proves to show that not everyone takes the money they get for granted. So from then on when I would see someone homeless sitting on the sidewalk in front of a convenience store, I wouldn’t give them money, I would go to buy food and give it to them. This way I knew I was making a difference in people’s lives and helping them out. And maybe my acts of kindness would influence them to do the same in other individuals’ lives. 

The steps we take and the actions we do in our early lives, determine the way we view the world. This is how an individual develops their character and the way they chose to live their life. In the film, A River Runs Through It, Norman moves away in search for a brighter future. To his surprise when he comes back nothing is the same. In his attempt to fix things to the way they were, he is hit by a significant event that with never allow him to bring himself back to the past. His brothers death. And because of this he is forced to develop a new sense of comfort with his own family. These experiences that we go through in our lives are the very things, if we know it or not, they develop who we are and change who we are.