January 14

December option B: The truth of society

Why is it we all treat others so harsh? Look at the past, how the treatment of African American was so unjust or the mistreatment of individuals such as Elie from the novel Night. If deep down everyone is truly kind and merciful how did such events occur? I write this persuasive piece to show the true heart of the world and how individuals only really care about themselves and have discontent towards certain individuals. Just take a look outside and you’ll still see the unfair treatment of certain religions,races, and cultures. I ask all these questions knowing there will never be a correct answer or that there will even be answered.

 

There is no individual one may put forth that will be willing to give up their own fortune for the sake of someone they do not even know. We can put a facade up showing a false image of ourselves but no matter how good our false identity is when put to the test no one will pass. I don’t say this with passion and joy of demining everyone but with sorrow for how weak man truly is. This can be proven with such a vast amount of examples, the first example that is most recent is the Uyghur Muslims in China who are being placed in internment camps. How is it possible in this day and age after watching the mass murder of millions of Jews and the regret and sorrow that comes with the Holocaust we still cant recognize the present day Holocaust? Why is it no one has taken action or done something, how is it world leaders watch this injustice continue with a blind eye. If we were really good people wouldn’t we have done something now other than just posting something on our Instagram and forget it. Mankind has evolved from the dawn of time from the en-slavery of non-whites to the multiple genocides. This can also be proven with the huge gap between the rich and poor, how is it with all the wealth billionaires and millionaires have we still end up with poor people can’t they just give some of their money for the poor. There’s one simple answer greed, everyone is full of greed and doesn’t really care about anyone but themselves.

January 13

Lit Expo-

What is your opinion of the idea that our beliefs are influenced by the actions of others?

 

     Every individual faces adversity in their life. Society has shaped most individuals to compete with one another and become very independent. Beliefs are what shapes an individual’s identity. Who they are, what they stand for, gender roles, where they come from, what they follow, and most importantly it sends an image to people of what they are capable of. Individuals who have come across a certain success will alter the minds of those who look up to them. As a person who guides them by exemplifying their results, one will have the ability to learn a lesson taught by a living experience. In the novel, Night, written by Elie Wiesel, illustrates how the concentration camp lead by the Nazis changed his beliefs, from heavily believing in god to, finding ways to rebel against him, and eventually losing all hope towards god. This also occurs in the movie A River Runs Through It, when Norman asked his brother Paul to join him in starting a different life in Chicago and Paul refuses because he wants to follow his dreams, yet stay traditional and be somewhat like his father, a fisherman. Paul did not have to endure the expectations of his father like Norman did, therefore, was more carefree. I have personally experienced my beliefs being impacted when I started high school. When an individual’s beliefs are altered by a certain event their beliefs either drastically lost or gained. 

      In the movie, A River Runs Through It, Paul always wanted to keep the family close. Although Norman went out for further studies, he’s always made sure his brother was okay and even plays the role of “brother’s keeper” at certain times during the movie. A significant scene was when Norman and Paul snuck out at night and the brothers were happy and excited, contrasting when they were caught sneaking back in and Norman allowed Paul to immediately take all the blame. This shows that he wanted to keep his reputation as the responsible older brother, as opposed to Paul, the irresponsible younger brother, setting a tone of being the “more responsible” brother of the family. By doing this, Norman has a stronger relationship with Paul because he knows he was just as excited as Paul, yet when the whole scenario of the “shooting the shoot” occurred, Paul pulled Norman back and took the blame for it. All things considered, Paul is younger than Norman so by him standing up and taking the blame shows, to some extent he is wiser than Norman is. Which, influenced Norman, into considering that his brother knows when to be serious 

       In the novel Night, Elie Wiesel writes about how his personal experience that conflicted with him about his beliefs towards god. When he was young, he had a very strong sense of belief in religion. He was keen about things in his culture even those that were forbidden to learn at a young age, he even prayed for his beliefs to never alter at the Synagogues. This shows how strong his beliefs were toward God at the beginning of the novel. When the Nazi’s were powerful and placed Jews into concentration camps, Elie had no idea his beliefs towards god would change because of what he was forced to go through. When Elie and his father were sent to the concentration camps, Elie stopped worshiping God. He became very spiteful and rebellious towards religion, and the idea of God because he was angry that he was put through this pain. Elie didn’t fast because his father told him not to, he did it as a way to rebel against his religion. He blamed God for separating his family, having innocent people killed. Until the death of his father, Elie became shameful and felt guilty about being relieved when his father died. The concentration camp had forced Elie to become independent he became nearly crazy because of being thrown in the concentration camp. The circumstances that he endured pushed him away from not only God but made him uncaring of anyone else around him. 

      I have experienced a significant change in my beliefs when I first attend FFCA high school. This school had my old beliefs being questioned. When I came to this school in grade 10, my only goal was to simply “Pass” my classes and get the credits required to graduate. As I started adjusting to the environment I realized that my vision for my future was insufficient and very limited for me to achieve my desire after high school. I thought all I needed to do was get a simple job that will allow me to fulfill my desires. But eventually, my eyes opened and I realized that education is one of the most important aspects that will allow me to actually become much more successful in the future. My beliefs drastically changed from being an idle individual to one that wants to search for a deeper purpose in life. This school has been one of the biggest eye opening realities for me because it taught me that education is what will guide me to a further successful path in life, rather than small or temporary jobs that might not get me anywhere.

      The challenges we face on a daily basis shape individuals into who they need to become in order to have a better future. When people become so heavily challenged that they drift away from their beliefs in god, or from the wrong consistency in disbelieving in someone to believe in them and when the environment around one opens one eye to reality it can teach a lesson of independence and fearless about the bad things happening around them. It shows that they have been influenced heavily by their surroundings that it changes how they will act in the future.

 

Category: Adeeba | LEAVE A COMMENT
January 10

Literary Exploration

Aafreen Bhanji

ELA 30-2

Lit Exploration- CCPU

December 19, 2019

The Actions of Others can Influence the Beliefs of Individuals

What is your opinion of the idea that our beliefs are influenced by the actions of others?

An individual has different beliefs than others around them. Other people’s actions may change what a person believes in and it may alter how they view the world. This can be seen in the novel, Night by Elie Wiesel, which is a memoir that describes Elie’s experience in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. It describes how after he was taken into the concentration camp, his beliefs and views on the world changed. This idea can also be found in the excerpt from The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch which talks about the experience he had at camp during the first Apollo moon landing. I experienced this when my grandma passed away.  When an individual has to go through an obstacle in life that is based on other people’s actions, they may change their beliefs, resulting in them overcoming the obstacle and feeling lost or regaining their beliefs in the world. 

In the novel, Night by Elie Wiesel, it describes how the main character, Elie, changes his beliefs when he gets taken into a concentration camp during the holocaust. In the beginning of the novel, Elie has a very strong relationship with his faith and beliefs. His beliefs are influenced by Moishe the Beadle, a citizen that escapes from the concentration camps and comes back to warn everyone about what is to come. Moishe the Beadle teaches Elie about the Jewish faith and helps Elie gain trust in his faith. When individuals find a mentor, they can strengthen their beliefs with the help of that individual. Near the middle of the novel, when Elie and his father are in the concentration camp, Elie starts to lose his faith and belief in God. He blames God for not helping him in this time of need and contradicts his actions. Individuals that go through tragic experiences, can alter their faith and what they believe in. At the end of the novel, Elie manages to survive going through the concentration camp but through that, he lost his faith in God and his beliefs changed because of the actions of the Nazis. This shows that throughout the novel, Elie went from having faith and positive beliefs in God, to starting to lose faith, and finally he lost all faith in God and his beliefs changed drastically. When an individual that has beliefs and faith that get changed or diminished because of the actions of others, it can result in individuals losing their identity due to the loss of their faith and the alteration of their beliefs.

In the excerpt from The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, it explains how when Randy was younger, the actions of his camp directors and his father shaped his beliefs. During the first Apollo moon landing, he was at camp and just before they were going to step onto the moon, the camp directors turned off the television and sent everyone to bed. The thought that rushed in his head was, “my species has gotten off of our planet and landed in a new world for the first time, and you think bedtime matters?” He was not pleased with what his camp directors did. When he got home a few weeks later though, he found out that his father had taken a photo of their television as soon as Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. His father preserved the memory in order to fuel his child’s dreams. This shows that by his father taking that photo, it inspired Randy to not give up on his dreams and made him believe in hard work and dedication. After that experience, he also believes in fueling his kids dreams and not putting them down when they wanted to dream. The actions of his father influenced him to do the same to his children. When individuals get influenced by others to do good, they can pass on those beliefs onto their children. 

I experienced a questioning of my beliefs when my grandmother passed away three years ago. It was a very sudden and tragic experience and made me think about what my beliefs actually were. My grandmother was not sick, she was perfectly fine. She just fell down at home one night, and that was it. I couldn’t understand why this happened and how it happened. I began to lose faith and question God as to why he took an innocent soul away from the world. Obviously it was no one’s fault that she passed away but I didn’t understand that at the time and I really detached from my faith and beliefs. Then my dad told me and explained to me that, “God takes away people for a reason and no one knows the reason except God. He knows what he is doing and you should have faith in him because maybe he needed Nani for a reason. Maybe he had another purpose for her in heaven. She will always be here to watch over you. You have nothing to worry about.” These words helped me regain my faith and beliefs in God and made me realize what I was so confused about earlier. Because of my father’s actions, I was able to regain my beliefs and make sense of the sudden event that had just occurred. When individuals go through an event where they question their faith, they may turn to someone they trust and use their advice to regain their beliefs and faith. 

When individuals experience an event that makes them question their beliefs, they may lose their beliefs completely, or regain their beliefs after the experience is over. Elie lost his beliefs and faith in God and didn’t regain them after staying in a concentration camp. Randy Pausch’s beliefs were influenced by his father and made him understand that having dreams is good and we shouldn’t restrict anyone. I regained my beliefs in God when my father helped me understand why my grandma suddenly passed away. Having beliefs is good, but when they get tampered with and altered, it can lead an individual to feel lost or to feel stronger in their faith and beliefs.  

September 27

This I believe: The path created

“We determine our destiny by the actions we take today.” (Catherine Pulsifer)

I believe our future depends on us.

I believe that there’s always a reason something happens.

I believe that every choice made today will change the choices we are given tomorrow.

 Everyone is destined for greatness, but the choices we make affect how we reach them. When choosing today, we should take into account what might happen tomorrow. Destiny is what guides us to success, and without it we begin walking into the unknown every day. What occurs today has a hidden purpose, we should all accept the actions of today and move forward.

  Our destiny is similar to a fork in the road, the direction we pick is the one that leads us to our new destination. Displaying how the choices made today will put forth new opportunities. No matter what direction you pick success becomes imminent as you’re destined for greatness.The fork in the road represents the choices given to us and how we must choose which way we want to go while always keeping in mind the next day. Our destination is what we pursue our whole life chasing what we desire the most in life.

https://ymi.today/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/19-Mar.jpg

As summer began, and my first year of FFCA grade nine ended, only one thing was left stressing me after my PAT’s – my report card, which was expected to arrive any day now. I was 100 percent sure my parents were going to be ashamed again after I was suspended the same year. The day finally came when I heard my parents called me as if today was my execution date.   As I began walking into the dining room, ideas ran through my head like NASCAR race “it wasn’t my fault – the teacher was bad”, “I’ll do better next year I promise”, “FFCA just hard – send me to public school”. I sat down across from parents, nothing they had a brown folder in front of them. After being yelled for what felt like hours my mother came and sat beside me and said, “I know your smart you’re just lazy you have to try now this is high school”. I came into grade 10 with a brand new mindset wanting to prove my father wrong, after the first semester I brought my report card home with my head held high. It felt different finally not being scared of my report card walking out the school with a smile on a face. By failing I was led to success. 

 

 

https://static.photocdn.pt/images/articles/2018/11/30/articles/2017_8/inspirational_photography_quotes.jpg

 

 

January 16

Polished Piece – Hope

 

Essential Hope

 

What is your opinion of the idea that hope is an important quality?

 

Hope is a quality that comes from within but can be strengthened through other believe in your abilities. Hope is as sturdy as is fragile; all within the control of the beholder. Through reading the novel Glass Castle written by Jeannette Walls the reader will come to learn the great power of hope through out the main character Jeannette’s entire life. Jeannette’s family provides no stability due to the selfish actions of her parents and their neglect of their children’s needs, in an attempt to keep moving forward Jeannette clings to the stability of hope. Introducing the conflict and chaos that was her life in the beginning of the novel following the result through hope of her ultimate happiness and acceptance. When an individual is faced with hardships and or trials in their life all throughout childhood and into the future, they often turn to hope to survive through the ongoings of uncontrolled circumstances resulting in free will and change.

 

At a young age Jeannette Walls was connected to the true power of hope through her ability to see the potential and good intention of those she surrounded, even amongst mislead truths. Through the tough and unfortunate circumstances of Jeanette’s life she turns to hope to stay connected to her father, this is evident through the inventions Rex Walls (her father) proposes. In the beginning parts of the novel we are introduced to the chaos that is the Walls family. We are also introduced to the character Rex Walls who is a brilliant man, full of exceptional ideas for inventions but little to no drive to successfully follow through on his plans. One of Rex’s many ideas is to build “the prospector.” The idea behind this invention was to shift gold from rocks and coal using different supplies to manifest a great work of art. Jeannette is intrigued by this idea but slowly sees another failed idea by her father. Jeannette shows her underlying hope for her father and his abilities but often loses hope for the surface level aspects that hold true to Rex’s character. Jeannette’s ability to hold onto hope is vital as it becomes the glue to her and her father’s relationship. Young Jeannette is by far the most hopeful and prideful of her father in the beginning stages of the novel as her innocence trumpets all the negativity that comes from her family’s reality.

 

The premise of the novel stems from the idea behind the “Glass Castle”, the hope in a bright and glorious future with the dwindling reality of the fragile glass to create it with. The Glass Castle is yet another glorified idea from Rex Walls and his list of unrealistic plans. As Jeannette ages and becomes a middle aged teenager she begins to see the realities of her family and their poor decisions, she begins to view her father with altered eyes. Jeannette never loses all hope for her father and ultimately always forgives him for his wrong doings but she grows distant from him putting up boundaries around herself and her family. As times become more and more unbearable for Jeannette she makes the ultimate choice to leave home and move to New York, where she will find solace in a better life. As Jeannette is confirming this will be taking place to her father, Rex pulls out the blueprints to the Glass Castle, that he has promised to her for all her life, in hopes to keep Jeannette from leaving home. Rex’s plan ultimately fails and Jeannette does in fact move to New York to better herself and her surroundings. It is evident to the audience the drive and inspiration for Jeannette to move away from home came from the foundation of hope for a better future, for hope in her own abilities. This is the ultimate disconnect from her personal desires reflected through hope and her dependency on her father being her hope. Hope is the underlying motivation to all passion filled decisions.

 

Jeannette overcomes the consuming hardship of her dysfunctional family by moving to New York and begins to attend college, her hopes and dreams of the future are directly altered through the release of her childhood life being a thing of the past. Her dreams and hopes are to become a journalist, to write to her heart’s content become a real possibility. Jeannette soon comes to the disheartening reality that she is not going to be able to afford the next semester of schooling, down on her luck her father steps in to offer her $950 and a fur coat. This is the first time in Jeanette’s life her father has taken direct action in proving his believe in her hopes and dreams. Rex Walls through full of intelligence lacks the ambition to have hope in himself but stands beside his daughter with the  sepricated passion that Jeannette had shown her father all her life. When faced with harsh realities having individuals believe in you and have hope for your brighter future it can be enough to drive you to push even further in your hopes and dreams. For Jeannette this is exactly what she did, she accepted the financial support and enhanced her future little by little until the end of the novel where we see the entire family eating at Thanksgiving without Rex but with love and joy for his presence in their lives and the lesson of hope in which he installed in them.

 

The importance of the quality hope is immense, throughout this novel it was brought to our attention in Rex’s hope to create his inventions to fulfil his promises but it was also evident in how Jeannette reacted, her stable hope and believe in her seeing the best in her father while losing the hope in her father’s promises. Seeing the good in someone you love does not always directly correlate to having hope that they will succeed with all their dreams and disasters. The foundation that is Rex and Jeanette’s father daughter relationship is rooted in hope, and the hope they have in one another. When Rex offered financial support for Jeannette to continue to attend school this was one of the most crucial events in her life, the direct reflection in Rexes believes in Jeannettes abilities. Without hope where would we be? We would be stuck in despair, with the lack of seeking a brighter future in any regard. Having hope as part of your tool belt of characteristics can only enhance a better and brighter version of yourself while holding onto the connections and individuals who helped you achieve all of your successes.

 

January 11

Lit Exploration

Prompt

What is your opinion of the idea that an individual’s life can be altered by a particular experience?

 

     Experiences

 

Every individual goes through particular experiences in life that have some extent of an impact on them. The impact of some experiences can just be meager, like winning a high school basketball game and being joyous for only a few days. On the other hand, some experiences have the power to create significant changes in one’s life, such as the death of a loved one, leading someone to be depressed or disconnected their whole life. Nonetheless, all experiences have the potential to create some sort of change. At times, experiences can spark a certain passion or ability. Particular experiences can lead to significant changes in one’s life, ultimately resulting in the development of new passions.

 

This is clearly evident in the film A River Runs Through It, as a particular experience leads to a powerful change in a family. For the Maclean family, things are normal and smooth for a while. There have been experiences in their lives that have been significant but the one experience that has the highest magnitude to create change is the death of a certain family member. Their family consists of a married couple with two sons, Paul and Norman. Paul is a character known for his rebelliousness and ability to often get in trouble. As youngsters, the two sons would often get in fights and have live their lives as daredevils. As they got older, the older son Norman became more mature but Paul, on the other hand, stayed a risk-taking troublemaker. As an adult, Paul got involved in some dangerous business in a gambling bar, which eventually leads to his death as he gets into a fight. This experience has a devastating impact on the family immediately, especially on his brother Norman. The whole family becomes despondent, they feel as if a piece of them has been removed forever. Norman develops a completely new outlook on life, in which he recognizes the need and responsibility of loved ones. Not only that, this experience leads him to develop a passion that he was meant for, writing and storytelling. Years after the death of Paul, Norman began writing about his life and was able to create a brilliant novel, which was also made into a film. The film ends off with Norman as an old man, narrating his story and explaining how the death of his brother leads him to realize that one should truly try to understand their loved ones. Life can be altered easily, especially by a devastating event such as the death of a loved one. It can lead to individuals to create new thoughts and ideas that can be either negative or positive. Often, events like those can cause people to see the world from a completely new set of eyes.

 

This theme is conveyed in an excerpt called Rock and Roll Jihad, in which an individual changes his life and develops a new passion by just going to a concert. The author of the excerpt narrates himself going to a Led Zeppelin concert. The concert is chaotic, like any other, with loud music blaring and people going wild. The author then goes on to say that unlike the others, he felt a different connection to the music. “ I felt fully awake despite the fact that everyone else around me was swimming in the depths of dizziness.” He ends off by saying. “I saw a vision for my future crystallize. I wanted to play music for the rest of my life….I had found my passion and I wanted to connect with it, share it, and change the world with it.” One simple experience such as going to a concert, was able to completely change the author’s life, leading him to even develop this new passion for music. Attending this concert was able to clear up a path for him mentally, in which, he could now clearly see, how his life was going to turn out. A strong passion in which he wants to impact the whole world. The power of some experiences can be amazing, it can be beyond our imagination at how effectively these experiences are able to affect us. 

 

There was also an experience in my life that sparked a light within me and helped me to find a new passion, a passion that I have even today. This occurred, during my first year of high school. Going into high school, due to suggestions of my family and some of my own interests, I wanted to become an engineer. Math was always a subject that I was naturally good at and was something that I found interesting which is why I had engineering in mind. At the high school, we had to take 3-4 elective classes as part of our curriculum. I decided to take legal studies because I thought it would be a very easy and simple class. I didn’t take it out of interest. I had my mind set on being an engineer but when I was in this class we did this mock trial, in which I was the prosecuting lawyer. As we did this trial and went through the process, I felt a special connection with being a lawyer. I felt as if I was complete as if this was what I was meant for. The whole time that I have been in high school, I have never put in as much effort in an elective class as I did in legal. By the end of the course, I had developed this new outlook on life, through which I looked at life as a lawyer. This too then became my passion as I realized through this experience that engineering is not what my passion is, being a lawyer is. This experience had pretty much changed my life, as I had changed my mind and developed a new dedication towards law. A passion that I still have today and will have for the rest of my life.

 

Particular experiences have the power to create an enormous amount of change in an individuals life. Throughout this essay there are examples of individuals going through experiences which lead them to develop a completely new outlook on life, resulting in the development of new passions and strengths. In A River Runs Through It, Norman changes his outlook on life after the death of his brother and starts storytelling, a passion he is meant for. In the excerpt, the author develops a passion for music by simply going to a concert and in my case, I changed my life and became dedicated to law by just going through one class. It leads to the assumption that maybe our lives are too fragile, that certain experiences can just completely alter our lives and lead to new dreams. Instead, it can also be said that maybe the power of experiences is too strong and that particular experinces have the power to create drastic change. 

December 8

My Identity

 

The definition of identity is knowing who someone truly is, where their values, beliefs, and priorities truly lay. I think that individuals have different journeys to embark upon, their own destinies to live and their own unique legacies to leave behind them. I still grow and learn more about myself as I grow and blossom into the hopefully well established, strong, and independent women I aspire to be. My belief is that an individuals identity is a reflection of the environment they choose to put themselves in. My greatest struggle to discover my path to my identity has been to embrace the fact that I have to live my life for myself, not other people. My greatest struggle has always been consuming myself with other peoples concerns rather than focusing on my own life, over time I found that I was deterring away from the path that I wanted to be on. I have always known what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to be and that’s been the biggest blessing for me but getting distracted along the way caused me to lose direction. I had to experience great failure to come to the realization that I need to be more individualistic in order to find my path. An individuals journey to identity will consist of many hardships, I think that learning from our mistakes is what teaches us to build our identity around our experiences. In many cases, we must fail in order to succeed. Sometimes some individuals have longer journeys than others but that doesn’t mean that the will never find it, each downfall will shape them and teach them a lesson to carry through life. But the most important thing will always perseverance without there is no way an individual will see any change in their lives. Identity is a complex thing but that also the beauty of it because its what will make one individual unique and special. I strongly feel that our environment as we grow has the biggest impact on our identity, each and everything an individual experiences as they grow to adulthood sticks with that individual forever and that’s why it is important for individuals to know that your bad experiences do not always have to install fear within you they should be an opportunity for you to learn about who you are. All these little lessons eventually compile up and become a very important part of an individual.

An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which a person faces and uses his or her experience

~James A Baldwin

October 29

“Why Is It That The People Who Need The Most Help, Won’t Take It?”

Image result for reaching out for help image

  There will be a point in everyone’s life where they will feel hopelessness rest upon their mind. Often times, this emotion can constantly run through their minds, depending on how serious their problems are.

 

   We’ve been taught from an early age that if we ever find ourselves in a position where we’re unsure of the next step, afraid, or simply in need to talk to someone about our problems, we should reach out to someone that we can trust to hold our vulnerableness.

 

  Unfortunately, for some, reaching out for help is not a step that they would usually take. For these types of individuals, there are many reasons as to why they do not seek the help they need–even when they are in desperate need of it. In some instances, reaching out for help may be considered a sign of weakness for the individual. Depending on the person, they themselves may carry a certain persona around to ensure that they do not look weak towards others. Overtime, this toxic habit may lead to damaging effects; such as having mental breakdowns, and ultimately making the situation worse emotionally and mentally. Another reason would be because they are afraid to ask for help. The individual may acknowledge and recognize that they have an underlying issue that needs to be solved, but are not sure how to attain a proper support network–in fears that may stem from the idea of being judged, criticized, and segregated from others around them.  

 

   In my case, I have seen many instances where I’ve encountered people who avoid getting the help they need because they are afraid of the consequences. One of these encounters happens to be a close friend of mine. This friend constantly helped people, but never herself. Her priorities were to always help the people around her first before helping herself–eventually neglecting herself in the end. This toxic behavior not only lead to neglection of personal needs, but also, the downfall of her mental health. When her mental health had finally deteriorated, she sought to me for advice and help. I then asked, what took so long for her to reach out, and she answered:

 

“Because I’m afraid of people judging me after I tell them my problems.”

 

 This was when I understood that she was afraid of the aftermath. She was scared to trust the people around her–even her siblings and parents. She continued to act strong to trick herself into believing she was alright; when in reality, she wasn’t.

 

  Although this may not be the case for everyone, a significant reason as to why the people who need the most help but don’t reach for it, is because they have yet to find an answer to this question:

 

“Who can I trust?”

 

And only once this question is answered, will they find a way to get the help they need in order to establish a stable supportive network.

 

 

image:

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj7q8iuyq7eAhUZGTQIHal6AhEQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Finspiritedminds.org.uk%2F2017%2F08%2F29%2Freaching-out-for-help%2F&psig=AOvVaw3nXRDP63D7k-j8OdZCat4c&ust=1541003182777619, accessed October 30, 2018, Title: Reaching Out For Help?

January 14

I still wonder….. (Free Choice)

Dear Diary,

It was a dark sunny day today. I was trying to cross a double road on a highway. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, it has been just been a few weeks since I came back to India and I’m already breaking all the rules but I was in a hurry to help the man with a young child across the road, who was about one year younger than Sparsh I believe, who just turned 5 in October. It took me approximately ten minutes to reach the opposite side because it was a highway and rush hour, so everyone was trying to get home to their families.I guess it was then that it hit me what a cruel world we live in. About a 100 cars should have passed from the time I noticed those two people and no one even tried to help them. Who knows how many hours, days or weeks, they had been sitting there. I had some snacks in one hand and water bottles in the other hand.

I gave it to that man as soon as I got through the traffic I will never forget the smile on that man’s face. He thanked me and told me I would live a beautiful life. There was only one question in my mind all the way back home, Why didn’t anyone just stop and help that man? Why is everyone so wound up in their own worlds and are so selfish that they couldn’t even spend 30 rupees on some snacks and water bottles. If nothing, they would have made them smile and gained well-wishes of an innocent man and his child. It broke my heart when I saw that young boy, he didn’t deserve that life.

When I finally reached home my grandma could see I was in despair and agony, I went straight to my room and laid down on my back just thinking. She came in with my lunch and asked me everything was okay, I told asked her the same question that was on my mind. Why didn’t anyone stop to help that man? She had no answer for that either. She said, “My father always used to tell me a story that his mom told him.” “Do you remember everytime we go to our village and I see people outside the temple and I offer them everything I have in my hand and in my purse.” I said, “yeah, you did that when I was young, even though we didn’t have enough to eat back home, you would never say no to those in need.” She then told me the reason behind it, “If that man in the uniform who was fighting against us, protecting his country had not given my granddad the water bottle I can’t image how he would have survived in that hell hole.”

At that time my dad was only 2 or 3 years old, I can’t remember now but my grandfather told me when we got the water bottle from the man in that uniform, my granddad respected him more than he ever respected anyone. Because that man in that uniform was the only one who saw my dad as a human in need and not as the enemy. Many men walked by without acknowledging them but he stopped and offered them the bottle of water. It wasn´t a lot but it was more than enough. My dad also told me that the water wasn’t for himself or for mom it was for the children that were with him. “Genes I guess.” They weren’t his own but he saw that they were in need and didn’t think twice about it and offered it to those children.

Everytime I heard this story from my dad it would compel me to help more and more people. I had never seen my grandma in tears in a long time. That was first when she was talking about her granddad. As she looked up at me, she could see I had tears running down both my eyes, I still remember those soft fragile hands that wiped my tears and said “Look Chinni, (my nickname) we can’t control how other people handle things and how they react to it, maybe there are helping in other ways, ways we are not aware of. Only thing is that we can’t control anything. It is how we react when we see someone in need that’s what really matters. “Are you gonna be the soldier who offered my granddad water bottle or are you going to be those who didn’t acknowledge they were there.”

She looked up at me and as she wiped her own tears and said to me “I am proud of you Suhaani for helping that man and his child out in ways you could. Now come on eat something.” As my grandma was feeding me, I thought about how absolutely lucky I was to have a meal 3 times a day and have water whenever I needed and that man and his child- no one cared how long it had been since they had their last meal or even seen a meal in days.

I went back again after eating my lunch to take them to a decent place and buy them a meal. But by the time I reached, they were gone… That young child had done nothing wrong to be living that way. I may never seem them again but all I hope is that the young boy gets everything in this world everything he deserves and wants.

December 19

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou – I Forgive You by Suhaani Jain

Still I Rise

by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

 


I Forgive You

by Suhaani Jain

Do you remember how I was hurt with your words?

Do you remember how it made me feel?

Do you remember how I told you to STOP?

Do you still hear my screams and shrieks at night?

Because I can still hear your words…

Echoing in my ears…

every day,

every minute,

every second…  

of my life.

 

Does it bother you I learned from my mistakes?

Does it bother you I finally accepted who I am?

Does it bother you I stopped seeking your approval?

Because I just don’t care anymore.

Does it bother you that I am not one of your puppets anymore?

Does it bother you I stopped letting you drag my soul down?

Does it bother you I stopped crying myself to sleep?

Because I now sleep in peace.

 

Does it bother you that I am more capable than ever?

Does it bother you that I stopped caring about and listening to your words?

Does it bother you that I am confident?

Does it bother you that I let go of things that weighed me down?

Because I did and I couldn’t be more happier.

 

Does it bother you that I MOVED ON?

Because I realized you

weren’t worth

My pain,

My tears,

And my life

has never been better.

 

 

Reason Why…

It’s like

Gripping

On to shards of glass,

Believing it would numb the pain.

But I realize it cuts deeper than the surface.

Ripping open the capillaries

With no hesitation,

Severing the nerves

Without a second thought.

By the time I realized

it did more harm than good,

It was too late.

The damage had been done.

The work of the monster/enemy

Is now

irreversible.

For the longest time, I thought this friendship was worth the pain and suffering. I gave it many chances, hoping each day, the next would be better, and hoping each day it would be worth my while. I stood by you when the whole world was against you. I supported you at your absolute worst. I was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. I was there when your so called “friends” betrayed you. I always believed in you, and I went out of my way to protect you and stand up for you. I disregarded the hell you put me through because I saw that you needed a friend. I went against everyone who loved and cared for me. I went against those who wanted the best for me and those who told me to stay away from you, they said you would cause nothing me but pain and despair. That you would fill my life with nothing but darkness. I stood up against EVERYONE for you. I myself was broken, yet I pulled myself back up so I could be there for you. You used me, lied to me, took advantage of me and my friendship. Every single time, I gave you a chance, I wanted you to prove to me that I was right about you. I wanted you to prove to me that you weren’t what others were saying you are. Instead, all you ended up doing was proving them right, each and every single thing they said about you was true. You proved me wrong. You pushed me down repeatedly, but, then you picked me back up, only to push me back down again. You made me feel absolutely worthless. Even after all this when you were in my position, I took you under my cocoon and protected you. You repeatedly broke me and my trust. Yet, I forgive you, for the times you used me, for the times you made me live in self-loath, for all those times you disrespected me and this friendship. And I forgive you because I don’t want to remember you in anyway. I don’t want any part of you in my life. Moving forward I want to be able to remember those moments in my life that I cherish and am proud of and none of those moments involve you. None.