January 12

Evolution of one’s Beliefs 

 

Prompt: what is your opinion of the idea that our beliefs are influenced by the actions of others?

 

One’s own beliefs are never set, evolving throughout time and experiences. Individuals begin to change there own set of values and beliefs as they see the effects of others actions, thus creating a mindset that is never set. This is visible in almost every individual as no one human has kept the same ideologies and values through their whole life, if one keeps the same views they are considered single minded and ignorant. In the excerpt from The Last Lecture written by Randy Pausch, Pausch talks about the motivation he had gained from the first Apollo mission, Pausch also talked about the importance of having inspiration to motivate everyone. Showing how the action taken by those men who first stepped onto the moon changed his own views. This can also be displayed in the novel Night written by Elie Wiesel, Wiesel illustrated how the Holocaust and the horrfic actions of the Nazis changed his own beliefs, from beliving in god and awlays praying to forgetting him and losing his faith. I personally relate to this as I myself have my beliefs influenced by the people around me, especially my father who I looked towards for guidance and aid. The actions one sees may lead them to change and evolve their own beliefs. 

 

The key events in one’s life are what create their own values. In the excerpt from The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, Pausch describes his experience of watching the first Apollo mission. He clearly remembers this memory because of how significant it was to him, Pausch believed the vast amount of money that had been spent was worth it. As this would motivate others, this source of motivation and inspiration is greater in value than the money spent. Pausch also describes how the Apollo mission had inspired him as a scientist. This example of a memory in Randy Pausch life exemplifies how an event in one’s life can alter their beliefs, creating new things one may value or signified. The smallest of experiences that one keeps close to them can hold and lasting influence on them.

 

One’s own faith and beliefs can be changed by key events that have taken place in their lives, these events are always kept in mind even when doing the littlest of action. The actions one may take can also affect an individual creating a lasting impact that can never be lost. In the Novel Night by Elie Wisel, Elie writes about the Holocaust and how it changed him. From being a young boy who always prayed and Studied the Kabbalah, to losing his faith and becoming nothing but an empty soul. Elie lost his faith and changed his beliefs as he faced the horrific events of the Holocaust and saw the actions a man could take against another man, Elie belived if God had been real this would have never taken place as God wouldnt allow such horrific events to take place. This is displayed when Elie is in the work camp and ask “where is god where is he”, showing how Elie had begun to lose his faith asking for God. By the end Elie gave up his faith and saw himself in the mirror as nothing but a corpse. The actions Elie had seen take place evolved him leaving an impact on him forever. The evolution of one’s beliefs is visible through the actions they have seen causing them to change and either embrace their past beliefs more or forget them all together. 

 

The beliefs one creates are based on the things they have seen, the future actions they’ll take will be based on their past. My personal experience with this is how I look to my father as a guider, watching all the actions he takes in his life and following him. I watch my father knowing he has been through more than me and knows best. His actions are closely tied to my beliefs as I look up to him and wish to excel as much as he did. By mimicking my father I create certain values similar to his such as having religion a key point in life. By having the influence of one the beliefs or values created will shift to be identical and based on the events that have taken place. No matter the type of individual everyone bases their beliefs over the past experiences that they have seen, this could be my father showing me how to pray and how important it is or me watching him pick the proper meat to purchase and the amount. Thus showing how other actions always have a lasting effect on our choices and beliefs. 

 

The significant actions one sees will never leave them, staying with them as the influence for their own beliefs and actions. One may see these actions as the reasoning for them create new beliefs similar to Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture, where Randy’s beliefs evolved with the first Apollo mission. Randy began following his new passion of science because of the mission. One’s beliefs can also be lost with the significant events they viewed such as Elie in the novel Night and how he lost his faith and beliefs with the horrific events of the Holocaust, causing him to lose his faith in God. No matter the key event one will evolve their own beliefs.       

                                  

Category: Aazab | LEAVE A COMMENT
January 18

Lit Exploration- hope

What is your opinion on the idea that hope is an important quality?

Hope is an emotion that we hold onto during difficult times, it allows us to move and grow as people it makes people believe in something that is not really there sometimes it’s for the best and sometimes for the worse. The theme of hope is shown through Jeannette Walls when she is exposed to the idea of the glass castle by her dad, Rex Walls. She sees the best in him and in the idea which results in her to realize the truth. A innocent individual who is given something to hold onto during difficult times results in the reality of what is best for them.

As a innocent individual comes across hope, they will make it a intentional choice of recognizing and taking it as a feeling that will be mistake for reality. It allows them to see the good in everyone and everything. In the memoir of Jeannette Walls we see this when Jeannette is first shown the blueprints of the Glass Castle by her father. Having the blueprints shown to her has allowed her to see the best in her father in that he is trying to provide some sort of stability in there situation of not having a stable home.This means that her father is creating an ideal home so that Jeannette is able to hope for a better future. This is important it shows how Jeannette is innocent and vunrable and this allows herself and her father to be each others hope for a better more stable future. She believes her father is the light in dark times. As we see this we see that hope is something that individuals hold on to in order to help move on in our lives even at difficult times and also allows us to believe that there is always going to be someone or something that will be there for us. Sometimes this can lead to the beginning something new as an attachment to an emotion that helps us believe in all things.

When individuals are exposed to something new that could help them and try to do things in order for new changes it sometimes can be an influential aspect to realize what’s actually there which allows us to see hope as an escape into something that we want to believe will be there in the end of our stuggles. We see this through Jeannette when they move into a new house and start building the foundation for the Glass Castle but as they finish the foundation it is slowly filled with trash. This shows us for the hope we belive in is quickly brought back up and allows for her trust and belief in her fathers abilities to resurface again and see the best in him, but also be taken away because of the fact that it is something that she can see the truth in. This means that as quickly as hope is brought up by the foundation it can be broken by the truth of what the foundation turns out to be, a pile of trash. This is important to Jennette because it is when she first realizes the truth of her situation of homelessness but also that hope is something that for her is not ideal and she should move on from the idea of that hope that is going to save her from her difficult times. When an individual allows for the start of something new it can be finished by the reality and truth that hope brings. It allows us to see the truth of our situations and the things we thought would help us during these times.

As individual develop and grow, it can cause to see the reality what is actually there verses what is not. It allows us to see that hope is just a feeling we use as a defensive mechanism to help us to go through things that need actions that we are willing to take to be able to see change. This can result in the individual to take reality of there situation and change it it into something they know will benefit them in the future they see themselves. We can see this when Jeannette is leaving to go to New York and Rex brings up the idea of the the Glass Castle and Jeannette talks about how it was just a promise that has always been there but never fulfilled. When she talks to her dad she realized that she has let go of the hope she had kept the whole way through and is now realizing the potential she has of doing something that will help herself. This is important to Jeannette because is shows that she is developing the idea thof the truth that is best for her and this allows her to change her reality of the situation she is in. As individuals realize the truth they had not seen realized when they were younger, allowed them to take action for what they believe will help and be a new part of them.

When we hold onto hope for the betterment of the people and things around us can result in the realization of the truth that is right for ourselves. Hope can change an individual into seeing the good in everything else, but can also change that good into something that we can take for the benefit of ourselves. First we see how hope allows us to have as we are innocent but as we grow and mature we see the reality of hope and use that to our advantage and step up for ourselves.

January 17

A Lovely Lie (Polished Visual Response #2)

The dirt-filled water sits by her feet; there is barely enough to last the rest of the day. It is as brown and dirty as the ground that she had retrieved it from. Rocks and specks of dirt rest in it, making it difficult to even see the bottom of the bowl that it lays in. She is grateful, though. There are people that have it far worse than her- she is lucky enough to have found some water. She has to tell herself this to mask the disappointment that she feels bubbling in her, threatening to erupt if she allows it to.

 

She picks out as many visible pieces of debris as she can, feeling calm as the water gently kisses the tips of her fingers. When she picks out the last piece that she can, she decides it is time to begin her trek back home. It is about an hours walk back in the harsh sun, on the scorching hot ground. Her feet are already blistering from the walk there, but she tries to ignore the pain.

Instead of dwelling on her pain, she glances down at the puddle of water in her grasp, watching as it moves freely in the container with every step she takes; it seems like it is dancing to a song that is not being sung. The simplicity of the water fascinates her- the way that it can take any form and do as it pleases. She wishes that she could lead a life like that. Her mind begins to wander through endless possibilities and realities, imagining all the lives that she could have lived.

She imagines a pool.

The water so clear you can see the bottom easily and can see your reflection so well it is like looking in a mirror. Children giggle and splash one another. She sits down at a shallow end of the pool, feeling the cool water encapsulate her gently. It brings a rush of serenity over her as she just enjoys listening to the things around her.

People are talking about what they’ll do after they swim and what they’ll eat for dinner with no fear or uncertainty in their voices. Food is plentiful enough that they do not have to ration it or go to bed with an empty stomach. Just the thought of that brings a sense of joy to her.

She looks around, observing her environment. There are colours that she has never seen in the natural world. Blues and whites so bright that it hurts to look at for too long. It is a nice change from the browns and greens that usually surround her.

People wear shoes on their feet and many of them have jewellery on. She glances at a man wearing a wedding ring and a necklace and notices herself absently touching her ring finger, imagining what it would be like to have a ring of her own. A ring that reminds her how much someone loves her and wants to spend the rest of their life with her. What a lovely thought that is.

Everyone seems happy.

Everyone seems healthy and well fed.

Just as she begins to relax and enjoy what is going on around her, she is yanked back into reality, back to the dirt road leading up to her hut.

The straw hut stands tall, bearing the sun better than she is. It has been her home for as long as she can remember, the walls holding all of her childhood memories, and probably the rest of her adult memories. She opens the door with remorse, trying desperately to go back to her dream.

But she can’t.

Her stomach reminds her of how hungry it is, her throat begs for water, her body longs for a rest. She tries to follow their commands as best as she can, drinking a small bit of the water and sitting on the edge of her bed, but it’s still not enough.

It’s never enough, and it never will be enough.

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”
Martin Luther King, Jr

Category: Paxton | LEAVE A COMMENT
January 12

Growth- Literary Exploration

 

Growth

 

 

             Personal growth develops our sense of identity. It is shaped by the experiences and circumstances that we acknowledge in our lives. Growth is what allows us to achieve our fullest potential. When faced with adversity an individual is able to choose how they respond to these hardships and reveal their their true sense of identity. Some individuals allow the negative experiences in their lives to burden them timelessly while others are willing to accept these hardships and evolve their character. In the novel, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls faces many adversities through her journey on a series of life changing events that alter her perception and character in various ways. Walls explores the idea that a naive individual struggles to establish their sense of identity when faced with adversity.

 

Naive individuals who are in afflicted situations can fail to realize the adversity of their reality.  In the beginning of the novel, when Jeanette was 3 years old, she was able to cook hot dogs by herself without the attention of a parental figure with her. Until one day her dress got caught on fire, and she burned herself, leaving a scar on her body that permanently marked her skin. After she was urgently rushed to the hospital by Rex and Rose Mary Walls, she continued to cook the hotdogs on her own, still without any worry or caution. This shows Jeanette’s innocence as a child, as she believed and considered it to be normal to be able to have that skill at her age. She doesn’t realize the lack of security and stability that is in her family It also establishes the idea that Jeanette’s family lacks a sense of care and values from the beginning as they continue to allow Jeanette to cook the hotdogs. The idea communicated from this scene is that the Walls family don’t give into hardships and weaknesses and allow those adverse experiences to cripple their lives. From the beginning it shows the kind of lifestyle she was set up for,  that her parents developed, but that Jeanette is oblivious to. The fire is a symbol of the burning ambition that drives her mindset and her ability to overcome adversities throughout the course of the story. Innocent individuals are illusioned by the reality of their experiences, and are ignorant to their current state of well- being.

 

Denial is the act of refusing to believe that something is true. When Jeanette and her family moved to Little Hobart Street they were imposed with many crucial living conditions that were detrimental to their well-being. As the kids were suffering from starvation and malnourishment,  Rex was still being optimistic and encouraging the kids by bringing up the idea of building The Glass Castle. Together they dug up a pit in the ground, so they could initially use it as a base for their dream house. It ended up being a pit to store garbage and waste for the family, and this causes the children to lose their sense of hope and motivation to get through their poor living conditions. This shows yet another idea that Rex promises to his kids but never fulfills. The idea of the Glass Castle is what bonds the family to one another, and keeps their relationship intact. They are bonded by hope and achieving their aspirations together, but like glass, it is fragile and breaks easily. Jeanette is left vulnerable and hopeless to her life situation that she feels defeated. She lives in denial of what Rex promises to bring her next and what she expects him to be, making it extremely challenging for her to face the adversities that are taking a toll in her life, thus hindering her ability to alter her character and overcome her challenges.

 

Gratitude describes the sense of forgiveness and the overcoming past burdens. Before Jeanette moves to New York, Rex tells her that she can come back any time she wants to. This is a major step and risk in her life that alter’s her overall sense of identity. At this point of the novel, Jeanette decide to leave her parent’s behind and develop a sense of independence of her own. This is a very significant event in her life as she is finally able to pave her own path and establish her own sense of identity, and not just live up to the standards and values that were upheld by her parents. The Thanksgiving family dinner that occurs at the end of the book, shows that no matter how critical the hardships from her life that were imposed by her parents and their lack of care, she is still willing to invite her mother over and be thankful for all the experiences that she had to bare. It asserts the idea that when Jeanette is challenged with adversity she is able to overcome these difficulties and be accepting of her journey no matter how hard it was for her. She comes to the realization, that she wouldn’t be living her ideal life that she made a reality without the experiences that she has dealt with her entire life. When individuals are able to accept the adversities and learn from their experiences, they are able to establish their own sense of identity and values.

 

Personal growth is a very significant part of an individual’s life. One’s identity is altered by the experiences that shape their life and the values that they believe to be is true. We are afflicted with the choice of how we respond to these adversities and this reveals our true character. In the Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls asserts the idea, that an when an individual is able to overcome their hardships, and accept their life experiences, they are able to establish their own personal sense of identity.

January 11

Actions Through Hardships

 

  Often times, individuals who understand the idea of struggle, hardships, and pain, develop characteristics and qualities overtime to ensure that others around them do not suffer as well, through the use of helping others mentally, physically, or emotionally. The photo depicts a soldier feeding an orphaned kitten during the Korean War in 1952. Ironically enough, the soldier is seen to be on a battlefield as there are bags of sand to help shield incoming hazards–essentially, a danger zone for the man in uniform. Symbolizing a sacred bond between the two, as it incorporates the ideas of safety and protection as the man carefully feeds the defenceless kitten–closely observing and caring for the animal in front of him, the expression of the man in the photo brings to the realization that although the soldier may be struggling himself, he prioritizes to ensure that others are well taken care of and safe.

 

  The theme statement is evident in the setting and surrounding that the soldier presents itself in. Being in an area where riffles, cannons, and other harmful weapons are being actively shot, the soldier understands the difficulties that comes with his job. The consequences and risk that comes with being in an active shooting ground ranges from being striked by an incoming bullet, being injured in the process, to the ultimate distress that comes with seeing a lifeless members body lying on the open field for all to target at–for many, this is the reality that many deal with on a daily basis; tending to be more prominent in developing countries. With the struggles that a soldier must face, they also understand that the fight for freedom and patriot is a difficult idea that entails sacrificing themselves in order to create a country that reflects the will of the people–events that lead them to understand the concept of struggle and pain. When analyzing the image, it can be concluded that because the soldier faces many challenges and obstacles, internally and externally that they must hurdle over, they build certain characteristics and empathy towards those of the less fortunate and individuals that struggle. Which gives them the willingness to act upon the idea of care towards others that deem to be in trouble–the orphaned kitten; a symbolism to which the idea of prioritizing oneself in the battlefield for their own safety becomes obsolete. Rather than a soldier caring for themselves, they check on others around them to ensure that others are well-kept and looked after.

 

   This concept is evident amongst all parents. As a personal connection, this theme is present within my own family. Coming from a background of poverty in Jakarta, Indonesia during the 1950’s, my parents have struggled substantially. Often, this entails having to sacrifice their education, hobbies, and time to help their own parents who have also struggled to make ends meet. This has shaped both my mother and father in ways where they understand the reality of life and the difficulties that come with not being able to fend for oneself. Having two children, my little brother and I– they have both pushed us to achieve and pursue to the best of our abilities, often, pushing the both of us to not only study, but also make sure that we understand how to do daily tasks, so that, transitioning to adulthood becomes less difficult since we have tasked ourselves to do it numerously. My parents have pushed us because they do not want to see us go through the same things they had to in order to build a life. The pain and struggles that tie into their financial and happiness have not only shaped both my parents to become the person they are today, but it has also made them caring and selfless individuals who ensures that the people around them are looked after first before caring for their own well-being–a concept that is difficult to grasp for the majority.

 

  In conclusion, an individual who understands the significance of hardship through their experience, builds characteristics to ensure that they prioritize the well-being of others first before dealing with themselves, as the particular events have shaped them to become caring individuals since they have faced the struggles first-handedly–a concept that can only be grasped by the individuals that have dealt with substantial amounts struggles.

December 2

Self- Discovery

How have I struggled to come to terms with my sense of identity?

Identity.

It shapes our values and beliefs.

It’s what we represent.Related image

It’s the qualities and characteristics that make us unique.

It defines who we are.

My identity is composed of so many different elements in my life that are concrete. Yet, I still can not say that my true identity is set in stone. As my life goes on and I explore more of myself, my interests and relationships with people, I find that it’s always ever evolving. It’s hard for me to say what I am to become in the future, even if I am open- minded, and diligent in wanting to  achieve my full potential. It’s the confusion, fear, and the what if- moments that hold me back from establishing who I really am.

I think my sense of identity is most challenged by the standards set from the people who I choose to surround myself with. When I come into contact with these expectations, it makes me confused, indecisive, and just anxious. It makes it difficult to step back and say that’s not what I want. Everyone wants to give me title, a label or a definition of who they think I am, which is what makes its hard to combat this pressure to say what I really feel is me.

For most of my childhood up to as recent as grade ten, my parents have always wanted me to become a doctor. They would always tell me that, that profession is what I was always meant to be since I was young. So, for the longest time ever, I believed them and instilled that thought as I kept moving forward in my education. But coming up in to this high school, and interacting with new people who were there to tell me my options and that I was capable of achieving what I felt like I wanted to pursue and not what I’m supposed to be, helped guide me to seek beyond what I had considered my truth all these years.  As I am a very hesitant- natured person, it was challenging to embrace what I felt was my truth and for it to be accepted, because even though in the end, the final decision is mine, my family’s opinion will still and always influence me and the directions I take in life.

Finding myself is one struggle, but actually having to encounter and combat life- changing decisions, is the toughest part. The brick walls that I encounter are all pinpoints of my journey to discover my self- worth. And it will forever be ongoing until I know who I truly am.

 

October 31

The Burden of Staying Silent

Why is it that people who need the most help, won’t take it?

Image result for accepting help

We all have experienced multiple times in our lives when we require the help of others. We don’t ever and will never know all the answers, to satisfy our curiosity or understand everything that it takes to thrive and be successful, and we certainly don’t expect the same for others.

The primary reason why people would rather stay trapped in confusion and fight their eagerness and concerns than reach out and be enlightened, is because of fear.  I relate to this is my own life, where I fear that I will be criticized, rejected, or be told no. I also think it’s mainly because fear is being seen as “less than or weaker”, and not a state of vulnerability  that allows for people to come to terms of accepting why they are the way they are and expose the way they really feel. Sometimes, it comes from a place a realizing your failures and damaging your reputation. Other times, for me especially, it can be because, I don’t want to appear to be needy and bother others, or make them feel that they are responsible for carrying my weights for me.

Being told “no” is a very simple yet bold statement, that doesn’t need to be as complicated and difficult for us to comprehend as others make it seem. Instead of always perceiving this word with a negative connotation, it’s important to look at it from another perspective. Rather of thinking that being told no is your last chance and a setback when it is said, maybe the best thing to do in that moment is to accept it and move on and work harder for myself and my journey instead of diverting from it. If I kept on refusing to get help then at least I know not to waste my time and energy on something or someone that possibly wasn’t even worth it in the first place, and so with that being said, you can guide yourself to someone who will say yes and be appreciative and considerate for who you really set yourself out to be.

Asking for help, allows you to gain the ability to move forward, learn and the opportunity to collaborate. Instead of being stranded in the moment, you know how to proceed. Not believing that I could ask for help, or seek advice and assistance, wouldn’t get me to the place I am in now and the opportunities that I have been so lucky to be given a chance to partake in. While not everyone is able to say “yes,” people are often respected by that request. It means you admire their expertise or abilities enough to inquire knowledge from them.

Overall, I also strongly believe that not accepting help comes from a place of not wanting to expose ones vulnerability. You are pressured with the burden of trying to be as strong as possible for the sake of yourself and for those you lead. That you have to keep everything together all the time, and not show any indication of weakness. The truth is, that being vulnerable requires an incredible amount of courage and courage requires strength.

It takes more strength to open up and be truthful about the way you feel, than covering yourself with a mask to hide away your fears and insecurities.

It takes more strength to free yourself than be trapped.

It takes more strength to push forward than to hold back.

And finally, it takes more strength to risk personal destruction for the hopes of achieving something bigger than ignoring the circumstances.

Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

I am no stranger to feeling afflicted and helpless. But because I am able to acknowledge the presence of these emotions, I am able to carry on and live my life without regret. And this is all because, I know when to ask for help and I don’t let vulnerability defeat or define me in any way, but let it be my sign of direction. 

Sources: https://twitter.com/shinybluedress/status/917691296290148353

October 30

Dream career Vs. Reality

Image result for kid dreaming

A career is a job that you will have for many years to come, that is why there is a need for you to enjoy what you do. In the film we watched in class, A River Runs Through it, when Paul and Norman are young they fantasize about the jobs that they could have, professions such as professional fly fisherman, boxer, and minister come up.

When we are young we do not know of all the careers that are out there, so we are limited by our knowledge and experiences. This is also why when you ask a child what they wish to be the answers have become cliches because of responses like a police officer, firefighter, or athlete. I think we get answers like these because when kids think of what is cool these come to mind but little do they know of the many opportunities that are out there waiting for you.

When I think of any career or job in the world that I could go into the idea of a pirate comes to mind; I know when a person thinks of a dream career they want to be a doctor or lawyer but never a pirate. The appeal of being a pirate is the freedom, living a life of no rules and only having to rely on yourself. I know that they are often seen as being dirty, unhygienic, and most of them do not live to very old ages but the lives that they live and the stories that they have is seen as worth it in my eyes. I know with this career I am taking the idea of a dream job to the limit but if I could do anything this is what I would want.

Alas that is all it is, a dream, what I really want to do is be a psychologist, helping people who are unable to help themselves; in my opinion emotional damage is often worse than a physical injury because no one can see it and only you have the power to go out and get help. Only recently I talked to Ms. Gerand about my career path, I was told that to become a psychiatrist it is 13 years of university work. Though I want to help people I do not want to be over 30 years old the first time I sit down with someone to help them resolve their issues. That is why I now am working to become a psychologist, it is only an 8-year course but it is similar in that I would still sit down with people and discuss their problems.

Having a career that in which I am able to talk all day and I an actually helping someone with words is one of the most amazing ideas of a career. People who struggle with the issue of their mental health are trapped and I can see a connection with my dream of being a pirate and wanting to be free. The feeling of freedom is the most liberating feelings in the world and people with those disorders are trapped and that is why I want to help them.

 

October 29

“Why Is It That The People Who Need The Most Help, Won’t Take It?”

Image result for reaching out for help image

  There will be a point in everyone’s life where they will feel hopelessness rest upon their mind. Often times, this emotion can constantly run through their minds, depending on how serious their problems are.

 

   We’ve been taught from an early age that if we ever find ourselves in a position where we’re unsure of the next step, afraid, or simply in need to talk to someone about our problems, we should reach out to someone that we can trust to hold our vulnerableness.

 

  Unfortunately, for some, reaching out for help is not a step that they would usually take. For these types of individuals, there are many reasons as to why they do not seek the help they need–even when they are in desperate need of it. In some instances, reaching out for help may be considered a sign of weakness for the individual. Depending on the person, they themselves may carry a certain persona around to ensure that they do not look weak towards others. Overtime, this toxic habit may lead to damaging effects; such as having mental breakdowns, and ultimately making the situation worse emotionally and mentally. Another reason would be because they are afraid to ask for help. The individual may acknowledge and recognize that they have an underlying issue that needs to be solved, but are not sure how to attain a proper support network–in fears that may stem from the idea of being judged, criticized, and segregated from others around them.  

 

   In my case, I have seen many instances where I’ve encountered people who avoid getting the help they need because they are afraid of the consequences. One of these encounters happens to be a close friend of mine. This friend constantly helped people, but never herself. Her priorities were to always help the people around her first before helping herself–eventually neglecting herself in the end. This toxic behavior not only lead to neglection of personal needs, but also, the downfall of her mental health. When her mental health had finally deteriorated, she sought to me for advice and help. I then asked, what took so long for her to reach out, and she answered:

 

“Because I’m afraid of people judging me after I tell them my problems.”

 

 This was when I understood that she was afraid of the aftermath. She was scared to trust the people around her–even her siblings and parents. She continued to act strong to trick herself into believing she was alright; when in reality, she wasn’t.

 

  Although this may not be the case for everyone, a significant reason as to why the people who need the most help but don’t reach for it, is because they have yet to find an answer to this question:

 

“Who can I trust?”

 

And only once this question is answered, will they find a way to get the help they need in order to establish a stable supportive network.

 

 

image:

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj7q8iuyq7eAhUZGTQIHal6AhEQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Finspiritedminds.org.uk%2F2017%2F08%2F29%2Freaching-out-for-help%2F&psig=AOvVaw3nXRDP63D7k-j8OdZCat4c&ust=1541003182777619, accessed October 30, 2018, Title: Reaching Out For Help?

January 14

I still wonder….. (Free Choice)

Dear Diary,

It was a dark sunny day today. I was trying to cross a double road on a highway. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, it has been just been a few weeks since I came back to India and I’m already breaking all the rules but I was in a hurry to help the man with a young child across the road, who was about one year younger than Sparsh I believe, who just turned 5 in October. It took me approximately ten minutes to reach the opposite side because it was a highway and rush hour, so everyone was trying to get home to their families.I guess it was then that it hit me what a cruel world we live in. About a 100 cars should have passed from the time I noticed those two people and no one even tried to help them. Who knows how many hours, days or weeks, they had been sitting there. I had some snacks in one hand and water bottles in the other hand.

I gave it to that man as soon as I got through the traffic I will never forget the smile on that man’s face. He thanked me and told me I would live a beautiful life. There was only one question in my mind all the way back home, Why didn’t anyone just stop and help that man? Why is everyone so wound up in their own worlds and are so selfish that they couldn’t even spend 30 rupees on some snacks and water bottles. If nothing, they would have made them smile and gained well-wishes of an innocent man and his child. It broke my heart when I saw that young boy, he didn’t deserve that life.

When I finally reached home my grandma could see I was in despair and agony, I went straight to my room and laid down on my back just thinking. She came in with my lunch and asked me everything was okay, I told asked her the same question that was on my mind. Why didn’t anyone stop to help that man? She had no answer for that either. She said, “My father always used to tell me a story that his mom told him.” “Do you remember everytime we go to our village and I see people outside the temple and I offer them everything I have in my hand and in my purse.” I said, “yeah, you did that when I was young, even though we didn’t have enough to eat back home, you would never say no to those in need.” She then told me the reason behind it, “If that man in the uniform who was fighting against us, protecting his country had not given my granddad the water bottle I can’t image how he would have survived in that hell hole.”

At that time my dad was only 2 or 3 years old, I can’t remember now but my grandfather told me when we got the water bottle from the man in that uniform, my granddad respected him more than he ever respected anyone. Because that man in that uniform was the only one who saw my dad as a human in need and not as the enemy. Many men walked by without acknowledging them but he stopped and offered them the bottle of water. It wasn´t a lot but it was more than enough. My dad also told me that the water wasn’t for himself or for mom it was for the children that were with him. “Genes I guess.” They weren’t his own but he saw that they were in need and didn’t think twice about it and offered it to those children.

Everytime I heard this story from my dad it would compel me to help more and more people. I had never seen my grandma in tears in a long time. That was first when she was talking about her granddad. As she looked up at me, she could see I had tears running down both my eyes, I still remember those soft fragile hands that wiped my tears and said “Look Chinni, (my nickname) we can’t control how other people handle things and how they react to it, maybe there are helping in other ways, ways we are not aware of. Only thing is that we can’t control anything. It is how we react when we see someone in need that’s what really matters. “Are you gonna be the soldier who offered my granddad water bottle or are you going to be those who didn’t acknowledge they were there.”

She looked up at me and as she wiped her own tears and said to me “I am proud of you Suhaani for helping that man and his child out in ways you could. Now come on eat something.” As my grandma was feeding me, I thought about how absolutely lucky I was to have a meal 3 times a day and have water whenever I needed and that man and his child- no one cared how long it had been since they had their last meal or even seen a meal in days.

I went back again after eating my lunch to take them to a decent place and buy them a meal. But by the time I reached, they were gone… That young child had done nothing wrong to be living that way. I may never seem them again but all I hope is that the young boy gets everything in this world everything he deserves and wants.