Experiences have the ability to make or break someone; many of them shape who we are as individuals. When we go through something often we carry the lessons from it. It is the bad experiences that we remember and learn from, the experiences that bring great adversity within our lives. In A River Runs Through It, written by Norman Maclean, we are introduced to the Maclean boys Paul and Norman who as they grow up face many adversities but deal with them differently leading to a tragic ending to their story. Even though experiences have the ability to alter someone’s life it is how the individual deals with it that truly alters who they are.

In A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean it can be seen that throughout his life Paul Maclean is always seen as someone who made and followed their own rules but as he grows older he becomes darker getting involved with drinking and gambling at Lolo’s leaving those around him worried. Norman offers to help but his help is refused by his brother after he reveals his truth and his darkness to Norman. This experience with his brother left Norman feeling like he had failed to fill his role as the “brother’s keeper” though Paul is an adult and has the capability to deal with the consequences that come with his decisions. In the beginning of the film Norman says “My father once said to me Norman you like to write… Maybe one day you can write our story and only then you will understand what happened.” Norman like much of his family

ignored many of the problems that followed his brother Paul only quietly fearing what would happen to his brother. Not understanding what had happened to his brother Norman is left with the constant feelings of shame and guilt that he was not able to save his brother from his own demise.

After Paul’s death the Maclean family became more distant rarely ever talking about what had happened to Paul. When reverend Maclean and his wife are sitting in the kitchen at the table eating but not looking at each other, it is clear to the audience that Paul had been the glue of the family and having loss him they had lost a way to talk and connect with each other. Much like Paul his parents had a difficult time connecting and talking about the problems that come with losing a child especially one like Paul who often entertained and brought conversation to the dinner table that had been silent so many nights he hadn’t been there. Leaving a feeling of emptiness within the family.  Often families are brought together by loss and not torn apart, throughout the movie it is shown that the MacLean’s rarely ever address any problems pushing them to the side which could be seen as the driving force behind Paul’s death. This experience brought a

feeling of defeat within reverend Maclean who had been a man who walked proudly of who he was but now was hunched over by the time he had delivered one of his last sermons where he said “But we can still love them. We can love them completely without complete understanding” showing that though he does not understand his son he had come to terms with his death and loved him unconditionally.

There have been many experiences that have permanently altered my life. From the age of five to thirteen I had been bullied throughout all the schools I went to. It was like no matter where I went I wasn’t able to escape the demons that enjoyed torturing me. The feeling of being in a situation where your feel alone and like no one understands you makes your push into isolate yourself in fear of vulnerability. Opening up became a big fear of mine leading me to have constant anxiety and letting others take away my happiness. These very experiences helped me become who I am today. For many years I tried to run away from it until I hit a brick wall and had to fight back and find me. Building up my core values and showing that I am strong and capable but most importantly I have the power of being resilient. Like the MacLean’s I come from a culture where we push things under the rug: if it’s never mentioned it’s not a problem. The lack of understanding is often defeating but it is the unconditional love that I am given that keeps me going and pushing me into the right direction.

How an individual reacts to experiences alters who they are. It allows them an opportunity for growth and learning if not taken it can lead to a tragic ending like that of Paul Maclean. In A River Runs Through It, written by Norman Maclean the audience is shown through Normans actions with his brother along with the lasting effect Paul’s death had on the family that negative experiences have the power to make or break you. The repercussions of the experience shape who you are and the individual you will eventually become.