Assignment 1: Visual Reflection
Assignment 1: Visual Reflection
Creative: interior monologue
Exam: January 2015
This, so called town, is extremely small and is falling apart. I feel terrible that I have to be here, honesty I don’t know how much more I can take. It is so rough and to see these little kids running around without shoes on. But yet they still have the biggest smile on their face because this is the only life they know.
I have come overseas, leaving my family and friends, to help maintain this town. I miss them so much especially including my wife, Sauvneet along with my two kids; Abdule and Harsh. We live back in Canada and it has been 7 years there and we love it. Personally we wouldn’t want to live anywhere else; it is so welcoming.
Most of the kids tend to keep their distance from me because, as my job, I have to carry around a gun in case someone attacks. The third world countries have been getting worst in the sense that they aren’t free anymore, they can’t do what they want. It’s all a dictatorship, but I am just here to protect not to live. The conditions of this town are so poor; they play soccer without shoes but yet its so hot with nice palm trees. Such a warm climate but its a very polluted and low economy, i just feel so bad for them.
It is incredible how much hardships one town can truly go through. I’ve never lived in a town so small, so beat up and so weak. I can’t imagine what some of these kids are going through, I’m glad my kids are growing up in Canada where they are safe and secure from the world out there.
I’ve never been one to take life for granted but after being sent to this town of Sibernes, I realized how good my life actually is. I must be thankful because Canada is so great, I don’t know where I would be without such a good country, it is honestly so safe.
All these kids, old and young, playing soccer without shoes because they can afford them and they don’t understand. Soccer is one of the only things keeping them going and is one of the few things they can do during their day. Time is running out for these kids and they don’t realize, next thing they know they will be working and having their own kids. It honestly is such a fast cycle and they are growing up in poverty.
I can’t do much else but do my job and protect them the best I can. If I could I would do so much more including; rebuild many buildings and structures, give some of these kids shoes, and maybe build them a soccer arena. This way they would truly realize how much a life can mean to them, understand the little things in life.
These poor kids! This is your life and you can’t do much about it, but neither can I…
Dear Chantelle,
I love the way you ended your short story it left me thinking that we, the people who have a proper government and security, do not value and appreciate what we have and maybe our worst day can be someone else’s best day.
As I was reading I was able to follow through with your tone and gain a deep understanding of the position you took on in this writing piece.
A couple things you could work with is just editing your piece before submitting it as in indenting and erase unnecessary spaces between periods and a new sentence.
I look forward to reading more creative pieces from you!
Dear Chantelle,
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, because it is showing the contrast present within third world countries and our own. Through this piece, you have been able to successfully show what the life the rough life that individuals within war-torn countries may face. It is a good reminder for all to be grateful for the country that they get to live in because they do not have to worry about the hardships other countries would. This really does capture much of the reality of our world today!
One thing I would say that could help you better this writing would be taking a second to read through your work in order to catch any mistakes, like grammar or general sentences. For example, in the sentence “I miss them so much especially including my wife.” I think you meant to write “I miss them so much especially my wife” or “I miss them so much including my wife.” By reading through and making such edits you can make your piece better as a whole.
I believe that you are a truly gifted writer who is able to connect with your audience effectively through your expression of the emotions that the individual in the situation must be feeling. Through taking the time to read and edit, I think you can be very successful!