A Letter to Bullying
The following is an emulation of a beautiful piece called “A Letter to Depression,” by Sara Tirmizi. Sara Tirmizi is an alumni who visited the Creative Writing class this semester. She has taught me to add details in my writing and overall become a better writer.
Dear Bullying,
It’s been a long journey hasn’t it? I still remember when you haunted me for the first time. You didn’t make it come as a surprise. You didn’t even try to throw hints. I had my back turned towards the door, I was looking out the window- trying to find the perfect moment to run away. The door was left open by the last group of people that pushed me in the hall. I never had the courage to close it.
And there you were.
For the longest time I thought the voices that crawled into my head were thoughts and past memories. When the voices never stopped, I thought the only thing wrong in the room was my sense of hearing. Or else, most likely it was just an allusion. Because the voices were not there, I could just hear them. And when the whispers got louder, I could not hear my own voice inside my head. It’s just one of those days. Everything is dark. The sun hiding behind the dark grey clouds. Its okay. It will just last a couple of hours, right?
Just a few moments?
Just a few days?
Just a few months?
Just a few years?
Right?
And I only turned around when I heard a loud scream. I thought the noise was coming from the door and obviously not from the window that has been shattered to pieces. So I decided to close the door before the voices grew louder.
And you announced your presence.
At first, I thought you were just another one of my visitors. Everyone shouting. Yelling into my cold sensitive ears. Maybe it was just another allusion? How long did I lay on my bed crying for hours? How long did I let you torture my soul?
How long?
Seconds?
Minutes?
Hours?
Days?
But I guess you finally got tired of hurting me. And I got tired of crying over you. Because when you whispered those harsh torturous words into my ear, your words sounded the loud sirens that could never stop ringing. I thought it was another allusion. My mind telling me that you are worth nothing. You are not worth anyone’s time. You are useless. Then the sound of those rings finally came to a stop.
They finally smashed you into the corner like a stubborn little child. You whispered to me from the corner. You held one last grudge. And I dont blame you for what you did. And sometimes, I will dwell on the past and remember you. But I will never get hurt again.
I will never allow myself to fall down again.
I will never allow you to completely take over.
I will never allow you to banish my happiness.
I will never let you take me back to those dark paths of life.
Dear Muskaan,
First of all can I please tell you that do not ever let anyone put you down for anything. You are strong, beautiful and a talented individual who deserves whatever you have today!
I loved the emulation you have done. The way that you have written it allows the reader to feel the time pass by as slowly as it would have for anyone who has been bullied. It shows the hope that all individuals hold onto when they have no hope, and all they feel is everything around them shatter. I thought that by placing the transition of the individual getting over the effects of bullying is also really effective, because it shows the individuals who may be experiencing this that their is always a way to move past such dark paths.
I thought that the sentences “You didn’t make it come as a surprise. You didn’t even try to throw hints.” sounded a little bit awkward and I think by rewording you could make it flow better within the story. I would also suggest that you try not to start sentences with and, or, but.
Overall, I think that this writing was a very deep reflection on the struggles that some individuals face within their lives, even though we as a society have been taught of the consequences this has on people’s lives.
Dear Muskaan,
First of all, I just wanted to mention that I am absolutely in awe of your writing. It is not only insightful but rather thought provoking as well. You have a gift of being able to transfer your thoughts onto paper- something I am still learning to do. There is a sense of beauty among each word and you string them together so impeccably. I have always loved reading your writing and have easily noticed how much you have grown as a writer. I can tell how personal this piece was for you just by the way reading it made me feel. So thank you for sharing something so intimate.
As picky as this is, a suggestion I have for improvement would be to double check your punctuation. I noticed that you may have been missing some apostrophes throughout the piece.
Overall, it was an honour to once again read your work. Your efforts shine through this piece and your words are both intriguing and captivating. I also want to commend you for writing such a personal piece.
With love,
Eesha
Muskaan,
I love how well written this piece is. I love how you introduce the raw emotions felt throughout the excerpt. As well as the strength that you showcase in the excerpt. This emulation was very well-written. I loved it.
,
Dear Muskaan
Firstly I would like to say that your writing has given immense inspiration as to my take on bullying. My favorite part was the questions that you chose to include because it gave insight on what goes through people’s mind during the time. The emulation of repeating some lines with variations truly gave your piece the effect of determination and strength.
Something that you can work on is fixing some of your sentence structures as well as punctuation.
Once again, I loved reading your piece and hope to get to read more of it next semester.
Anusha
Dear Gurnoor,
Thank you for the suggestions that you have made. I will certainly reword some parts of my emulation.
Love,
Muskaan
Dear Eesha,
Thank you for the kind words on my piece. I will definitely double check my punctuation in order to reduce the GUMPS to as minimal as possible or not at all.
Love,
Muskaan
Dear Martha,
I am glad that you enjoyed my piece!
Love,
Muskaan
Dear Anusha,
I am glad that you found my piece inspirational. I will certainly work on my sentence structure and punctuation.
Love,
Muskaan
Muskaan:
This emulation is extremely beautifully written, the diction and the layout that you chose for this piece fit so well that when reading it, it just had a very fluent and smooth flow to it that I greatly appreciated.
My only suggestion would be that of adding visuals to enhance the intense emotions that are shown throughout this emulation.
Great work 🙂
– Sam
Dear Sam,
I am glad that you liked my piece. I will definitely incorporate more visuals into my writing.
Sincerely,
Muskaan