“I May not be here yet, but i’m closer than I was yesterday”-unknown

“ if you are going through hell,keep going”- Winston Churchill 

I believe in perseverance 

I believe that we all go through hardships in life. Sometimes it’s inevitable and we, as individuals, have to fight through our challenges even when we are at our lowest point in life. That is what I believe is perseverance. Having to go through hell and still having to walk past all the difficult situations that are going against you in life.

Ever since I was little, I always had eczema. I always had the “itchy” feeling since elementary school and it was something I was used to. Then came middle school where my eczema became dormant. I had no issues with my skin and I was able to be at ease for the 4 years I was in middle school. But then came 10th grade when my eczema started to come back. I didn’t think of it as much because it was just a little flare-up that didn’t really affect my daily routine. I finished the 10th grade but that summer was a time that will always be embedded in my mind for the rest of my life.

My life changed drastically that summer. It was the summer where I would be going into the 11th grade, the most important year of my life. Over the summer, my skin got worse to the point where it was affecting my quality of life. I was in a constant state of pain. My bedsheets looked like a murder scene because of how much my skin would leak blood. I would always have this burning sensation like someone poured hot oil all over my skin. It felt like 1000 needles poking my skin all at once. I was immobile at this point where I couldn’t do any of my daily activities. My mom got so worried that she took me to the doctors that summer. But what the doctor said changed my life for the worse.

The doctor had told my mother and I that it was “basic eczema” and gave me a steroid cream that would help improve my infected areas. During the appointment, she never examined my swollen, inflamed skin. The resident, that was there to see me, looked from afar and after she gave the prescription she left. She also told us that she’ll refer us to a dermatologist “as fast as she could.” My mother was furious that they weren’t diligent with what I was going through and decided to take me to the children’s hospital. They were more helpful than my own family doctor. They looked at my skin thoroughly and got me a referral to a dermatologist right away. After the last few days of summer were over school had finally started.

When school started I was doing okay, I wore the uniform and attended my classes as best as I could. During the beginning of school, I went to the dermatologist and they examined my skin and took a swab of it. She wanted to check if “there was an infection” that had appeared in my skin. Another couple of days had past and I started to bleed through my shirts and I had to constantly go to the bathroom to stop the bleeding. Fast forward to my next dermatologist appointment and the doctor told me that I had “a heavy staph infection”. I was prescribed antibiotics for four weeks. It got the infection out. At this point, I stopped going to school.

When I didn’t attend school, I was in bed, in pain. When everyone was having fun at school, I had to suffer at home, alone. The pain that I felt was unbearable. I couldn’t move any part of my body and had to stay in bed because wasn’t able to walk either. liquids would be pouring out of my skin and would dry up and turn into yellow scabs that would be scattered all over my body.  My arms, hands, legs, and stomach area were all swollen, bubbly and inflamed. I eventually started to smell this weird odor coming from my skin. I soon figured out that it was coming from all the patches. During this time, I was heavily depressed and lonely. My parents had to work and my siblings were still going on with their life while I was bedridden for 4 months. My mom tried to stay home as much as she should when I was severely ill, but there was only so much that she could do. My family was very supportive and would come over to talk to me. In this time, I had never craved for so much human interaction in my life. I was at the lowest point of my life. At that point in my life, I was so scared of what the future held because of how many absences I had at the beginning of grade 11. After 4 months of taking medication, I was finally able to go back to school.

After going back to school, I felt good about myself. I was doing something other than laying down in my bed and being cooped up in my room. I had a lot of work that I had to do in order for me to pass grade 11. It took a lot of effort and time to get where I am today. I had to work 10 times harder than everyone else because of the fact that I was already so far behind. During this time, I was still facing problems with my skin, but I didn’t let it come in my way. I persevered through the pain during school and got my school work done. Eventually, when school was coming to an end, I had successfully completed second semester of grade 11. The feeling I felt on the last day of school was of pure relief. it was joyous moment for me. I had done what I thought was impossible for me. I persevered and had successfully passed grade 11.

https://nation.com.pk/08-Jul-2017/an-open-letter-to-people-suffering-from-depression