“There’s nothing you can do to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves”

~unknown

Help. Something that everyone needs once in a while yet always comes the day where individuals have to face there lives on there own as a learning opportunity that will guide them through the rest of their lives and ultimately become a part of their identity. People say that help is not something to be ashamed of, but often individuals forget that help is also something individuals shouldn’t become heavily dependant on. When an individual is experiencing hardship in their life and they continuously deny the help of others, sometimes it is necessary to allow them to help themselves. Although it may be difficult to leave loved ones on their own to face their hardships by themselves it is important that individuals learn to be strong for themselves before they get help from others. When individuals experiencing hardship deny help from others it is often seen as a sign of their desire to not be helped but what if it’s actually a sign of their need for alone time, some time to think their life over alone without anyone else’s opinion blocking their own thoughts.

I strongly believe that individuals are often underestimated for how much they can take on their own. I am the type of individual who doesn’t deal well with the help of others, in fact, at times others medalling in my business makes things more difficult for me. Often society misunderstands individuals denying help as a sign of them not wanting to “get better” or prosper in their lives. But society also often doesn’t recognize that not all individuals need help at all times. The most common saying that society uses also happens to be the one they forget about the most and that is that individuals learn from their mistakes. I feel that individuals that deny help from others begin a journey of self-discovery and self-healing.

When I was at the age of thirteen I lost my lovely grandmother, I still remember how heavy my heartfelt when my father held me tightly in his arms and stood silent, I knew that the man I had never seen express any sign of sadness wasn’t hugging me so tight for me but for himself, he needed that to stay strong. My heart was shattered at the fact that I had lost my grandmother and that my father had lost his mother and was experiencing such measures of sorrow. I think that I took a lot of sympathy pains from my father. I remember being constantly asked if was okay and the truth is that I wasn’t okay and I didn’t want people to sympathize with me or to tell me everything was going to be okay- I didn’t want peoples help. I knew that death was something that was inevitable and I knew that my grandma died a peaceful death but I just needed time to talk myself through it. My silence was never meant to be silence It was just spending time lost in my thoughts and thinking of how many amazing life lessons she taught me. I took time to heal but I eventually did heal and I learned a very important life lesson and that was that life is something very precious and I should enjoy every day with those I love. I feel like I learned to heal on my own from my father because after his mother died he didn’t cry he was just silent and quiet for a few days and then he was back to normal. I can understand why people might consider it unhealthy to not talk to anyone when going through hardship but I feel differently. I feel that individuals are capable of healing and coping on their own because it is necessary for individuals to learn that skill and implement it in all aspects of their lives. At the end of the day although others thought that I didn’t want to help myself the truth was that their perception was preventing them from understanding my need to heal and mend myself back together without the “help” of others.

Today, I learn my lessons on my own whether it is to the point of no return or not I learn a lesson and I implement it in my life. I feel like everyone is different individuals heal and cope differently but I know myself and I can only help myself. The idea of gaining help from others is often overlooked and often people see failure or hardship and immediately associate it with help rather than learning from the hardship its self the best analogy to demonstrate my perspective would be that of a baby learning to walk as they stumble and fall they grow stronger, so if they constantly rely on the help of others their body and muscles will never learn to support them.

Humility,

A misunderstood trait,often mistaken for weakness,selfconciousness and oblivion,when in reality it represents extreme measures of strength,confidence and sensibility.I believe individual’s who are aware of themselves and do not require the need to over compensate for the fulfillment of society are misunderstood and taken advantage of due to their silence.I believe that an intellectually humble person is self aware enough to the extent where they are mature enough to accept other ideals of life.I believe intellectually humble individuals are people who are able to be successful in society in the sense of creating relationships, wether they be business,romantic and or friendships.I believe that being a humble individual is a key characteristic of a self confidant individual.

“Enough confidence to hold your head high.Enough humility not to look down on others.”

~ Unknown

An example of intellectual humility in my own life would be when I learned how to forgive,  being a teenager is about experience,we live our teen years learning from mistakes and also learning who we truly are as an individual.When I first began high school I would find myself angry at the world for all the hardships I had suffered in my life at such a young age.I forgot about my future because I had consumed myself in self pity and sadness.At times I felt like every breathe I was breathing was my last.I had no idea of who I was,I had no idea of who I wanted to be, I had no idea of my identity,I had completely trapped myself within the suffocating walls of my overthinking brain.I had reached an all time low

Wake up, brush my teeth, get ready for school and go; I had lost direction.My life became a repetition of the same cycle over and over and over.I would think of life and see nothing but failure…as I was following the constant cycle of my life I came to a sudden pause,frozen, my thoughts could no longer make me feel suffocated and isolated;I had missed the bus, so I took the train home, on my way as I stood at the quite train station I felt the the cold breeze settle, the numbing of my toes and fingers, yet for some reason I felt at peace.As I sat on the empty train watching all the people live their busy lives in downtown;a part of the city where all the well dressed business interns work, a mother and her little daughter sat across from me.I had been in a state of reflection of my life from the very moment I stepped onto that train, a weird feeling from that very moment had been sitting in my gut.As I watched this mother console her daughter; who had been in tears because she had left her red scarf at the station, I saw the beauty of life.That red scarf, that red scarf, that red scarf had reminded me of life, that mother reminded me of genuine love, the tears of that girl reminded me of pain, and that scarf was life.All humans experience hardships in their lives,all humans have different paths to walk even though they may not be aware, like that scarf left behind.Little did that girl know in that moment that she would go on to wear her mothers scarf, one with more meaning and comfort and most important love.I learned that love was something that should be pure and genuine, that mothers love for her daughter taught me something and that was that you should be humble with your love, because it is something that heals the broken and mends the wounded.In that moment I began to appreciate the beauty of my life, a loving mothers,loving family and a world of opportunity, not all my problems were fixed but I learned to forgive, I had always thought that this feeling of a never ending suffocating cycle called life was something that only I was experiencing but that red scarf helped me realize that in fact everyone else was experiencing it to in their lives in different ways,from that realization I learned to humble myself because regardless of what I may be going through there will always be others walking along side of me with their own hardships, so self pity was no longer an option for me,I had a beautiful, happy and successful life to live on and I would do it in the most humble and genuine way I knew how.