September 27

A Healthy Campfire

“Time means a lot to me… If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”

Bruce Lee

    This is a quote that had shown me the importance of living my life to its fullest extent. It has also shown me that time is something that is very limited in any lifetime, so that I should be doing my best to make every second of it feel worth it to myself. Thus, I believe in devotion. I believe in dedication. Devotion and dedication is essential if I want to provide myself with an adaptable and tolerable lifestyle that I want or wish for. Devotion and dedication being explained this way reminds me of a campfire, the starting of it, and the maintenance of the fire itself. Devotion and dedication becomes a necessity if I, or anyone, were to attempt to make a proper fire and keep it alive. This fire could represent a multitude of things too, like the bonds of friendship, my control of my own life, and more.

 

    To begin, I had an old friend from Hawaii named Kai. A few years back, he was visiting his grandparents for several months who, surprisingly, also lived in Alberta. He and I used to hang out pretty often during his visit. We always made jokes together, had fun together, talked about controversial topics together, and more. He seemed like a fine and morally acceptable person to be around for a lifetime. But, unfortunately, family issues for me had arose and the time that I hung with Kai on a daily basis, began to shrink more and more. I had not told him about my reasons for hanging out with him less, but I still tried to allocate a minimum of an hour a day for him. This hour-a-day routine only lasted two weeks, before something catastrophic had oozed its way into my life.

 

    It is nearing the end of October 2017, and the last month that Kai is staying in Alberta. Being around him was not fun anymore, but rather, very enervating and gloomy. The fact that I had decided to continue hanging out with him, had in fact, spoiled him. That was something I had learned right after I had left him for two days for a small family trip, when I found out that he had triggered one of our mutual friend’s depressive episodes. Well, things were a very steep hill at this point, because I had to choose between dealing with two old friends. Since I knew substantially more about Kai than I did about the other friend of ours, who was in a relationship, I decided to help Kai out. I believed that our friend would be able to recuperate from this with her relationship, so I left them in a pool of hope. I asked Kai questions regarding his depressive mood, and I got confirmation that all he wanted was attention. He wanted someone to be with, to play with, to communicate with, all on a daily basis. Out of loyalty, I blindly indulged him. I, like a sheep, followed him without any signs of hesitation, because I, at that time, thought that the time I spent with him, would actually help him. I had not realized what was really wrong, until I spread the word about me and my situation with Kai to my family. They told me that all I was doing was just satisfying his guilt tripping, and not really giving him any advice to tackle his attention-seeking depression. After I was made aware about how this looked from the outside of the picture, I began to think about what needs to be done, what could help him. My family argued that someone like Kai, as he was, was essentially at the point of being a lost cause, and that I should just stop being friends with him, since I would only be wasting my time.

 

    It was the first time in a while, that I felt like I might battle with sorrow again. My family suggested that I should leave Kai in the dust, and part ways with him. And in this moment, since I felt that there was a need to clean some things up. I compromised with my family. Especially since I was told by an outside perspective, a problem that I could not see myself. I thought about what I wanted and how they thought I should deal with Kai. My compromised method was to not leave Kai in the dust, but to minimize my interaction with him when it came to spending time with him, and to maximize my advice that I give him that should be helping him fight against his desire for attention. I thought this would work, because Kai had been taking me for granted by expecting me to always say yes to his requests. I thought that this would be a justifiable way to show him that it is not possible for me to stick around as often forever, and that he should be putting in some dedication towards fixing himself and putting himself in a place where he is comfortable in life. All he was really doing was being childish and whining about how boring, empty, lonely, and silent his life was whenever I was not around. And it was always about whether I was around or not too. He told me his problems one more time the next day, and I got a little fed up; began to tell him upfront what I had thought about his behaviour and his attention issue that he was pushing onto me. His problems are not something that I should be solving for him, since it is only possible to do as much as extend a hand to help. That was the message I delivered. From then on, I had started reducing how much time I spent with him on a daily basis, down to the point where I had just ignored him. It hurt, yeah, because I was basically being a fool.

 

    It is now the seventh of August 2019. It has almost been three whole years. Leaving Kai with my parting words as advice left a bad taste in my mouth, but I believed it was advice worthy for the best and the rest of his life. To my surprise, after three silent years without Kai, he comes back for a visit. This time, it was a visit for me, not his grandparents. He said he would see his grandparents while he was here. This was awkward, much like the first time I met him, except, this time, being around him was not enervating and gloomy. It was even more awkward for me, because I was a little anxious about what he would think about me. About me being unresponsive towards his cries for attention after the last message. People change, and that is an absolute thing. I understand that. What it felt like to be around Kai in 2016 was not the same anymore. The 2019 Kai is not in an adrenaline rush for attention anymore. He greets me, and talks to me as if his depression incident had never happened. He was fine to talk about it and remembers everything he has done, and says he regrets it, and understands what went wrong. He gave me news saying that he had found two companions to hang around and talk to on a daily basis. And I briefly congratulated him. Throughout these years, I had thought about how much time I spent dealing with Kai, helping him. And it was only until I thought about it, that I had not realized that my unique traits that carried me through those few months, was devotion and dedication. Devotion made me stay with him. Devotion made me compromise with my family’s suggestion. Dedication made me go back and help him when he needed it, even if he was not conscious of his own flaws. Devotion and dedication gave me hope that what I did would give him the idea of traveling to the light he only stared at. Devotion and dedication, ultimately, let me see that time is definitely needed to mend things, but time will not mend things if nothing is done to start that process. Since time is limited in a lifetime, I had learned that sitting around, whining, crying, and grieving about personal problems is just wasting the time I have left to live. And with that wasted time, I could have spent it all on trying to better myself and find firewood to keep my fire alive.

Category: Henry, Sept 2019 | LEAVE A COMMENT
November 13

Experiences

My Experiences: Part 1- High School

 

High school… There is only a couple of months left of it. It is true when they say “high school goes by fast.” “Enjoy the last years of high school, you’re going to miss it.” I never took those words seriously. Time. I never gave the term ‘time’ any thought, I always thought that there was always enough time, enough time to get my grades up, to finish that book for English class, to finish my math homework, anything. Honestly, there is never enough time. Almost 13 years of school completed, and now I know there is not enough time. Now, I know nothing lasts forever and high school guaranteed that for me.

You know what else? I am the worst at saying goodbyes. I always tend to think that a new start will be a bad start. I hate change. I think it is just fear of starting something new, something I am not used to.

I never thought about how drastically my life is really going to change after graduation. Throughout the 13 years of my life, the people I met and grew up with, I came to the realization of how difficult it is going to be, knowing the fact that we are not going to see each other again. “Hope we stay friends after high school,” are we really? Probably not. I guess that is just how it is. Leaving high school is a realization. Realizing what my friends have grew up to be, what they aspire to be, their dreams and ambitions they want to achieve. There is so much more to them that I never knew,  more than I ever thought in all these years.

I know, I can see, the anxiousness, worry, tension, in my classmates and friends. The word ‘university’ makes everyone’s hair rise on the back of their necks, including mine; without being fully aware that there is much more to look forward to after high school. The pressure upon us, from parents, teachers, friends, even from ourselves, take control over our decisions, our aspirations, our wishes without realizing it. The quote “Graduation is not the ending, it is just the beginning,” reminds me of that, the opportunity to gain new experiences, skills, knowledge, relationships. High school is just the beginning. From all I learnt in high school, I understand the importance of the values, beliefs, relationships, knowledge, experiences gained from the dreading years of school. These factors make an individual, whether they are lessons or blessings. High school may be one’s worst or best years of their lives, whatever it may be, they do make you who you are- “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” -Charles Dickens.

 

Category: Sapna, Sept 2017, Uncategorized | LEAVE A COMMENT
September 27

Dear Diary,

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Dear Diary,

Today was like any other day. I got back from school, finished my work, spent some quality time with my family, and took Marshall out for a walk, and, my god, did he enjoy that. By the time I reached home, my stomach started growling, I was famished, finished my dinner and then I went to my room upstairs. I could hear my mom yelling at my younger brother to just sit down in one place and finish his dinner. I understand that she must be tired of working, well, it is hard to get adjusted to a new environment. She started working again, just a couple of weeks ago. I bet she really misses her vacation now, considering how much she was complaining about how much she misses work. I finished all my school work. I lay on my bed, as I go through my Facebook feed I saw this absolutely heartbreaking story that moved me and changed my mindset about the world we live in. I wonder what has happened to the humanity in this world. I had no idea people could be so cruel.

This is not how I expected it to end. The world must be in a state of shock after hearing about this event in South Korea. We are all well aware about North Korea’s recent experiment with their missile “testing”, more like proposing World War III. For many, it may come across as a shock to hear a missile launching on South Korea this afternoon. I skipped the video because this dreadful picture caught my attention.

In this picture, there are two young boys who don’t look more than eight years old. They look terrified and confused about the current situation. It seems like one of them is running towards this man leaning towards the wall. It seems like the man is holding a gun, maybe for protection. There are no adults present, which indicates they have decease due to the missile launch. It could also mean that parents or guardians were not present during the time of the attack. Looking at the condition of this place it seems like the survivors have had nothing to drink or eat in days. They have been left to starve without any support or help from anyone. I have a five-year-old brother, and he starts crying if he wakes up in the morning and doesn’t find my mom beside him. I patiently let him know it’s okay, and that mom had just gone downstairs. And now these children in South Korea have no idea what is happening to their country and they don’t have anyone to give them the courage and tell them that it is going to be alright. I cannot even begin to imagine how they must be feeling not have any guidance or support from elders.

The surprising factor I read on the same page was that North Korea is claiming that they had nothing to do with the loss or suffering of South Korea and their citizens. They have also offered to help South Korea with anything they need at this devastating time. Now the real concern is who is responsible for the state South Korea is in right now. All my prayers are with the families and children who lost their loved ones.

Good night, Diary

 

Category: Sept 2017, Suhaani | 2 Comments on Dear Diary,
September 15

Live your life with no excuses.

Do not fear failure rather fear not trying

Failure is a lack of success and we usually fear failure because we are afraid that we are not going to reach our own goals. How are we suppose to reach our goals when we are even afraid to fail or keep trying until we reach that goal. I choose this life philosophies because pain is a strong deterrent. This means that we, ironically, feel most inclined to give up on areas that matter to us. The more important they are, the scarier and more painful they are to fail at.. Not giving up has resulted in the greatest successes of my life. We often quit because of lack of ownership, not willing to put the time, afraid to fail at something again and not willing to put the time.

Time is useless use it wisely.

We don’t know what is might happen to us in a minute, hour, a day, week, month or year. I chose this quote because l believe that we should use our time wisely before it’s too late for us do make a change. Things aren’t always going to be there in life they come and go so we should use our time wisely rather than wasting with unwanted things in life.l have three ways that l can use my time wisely which include ;

  1. you are how you spend your time

  2. schedule things that make you happy

  3. Church is your second home

Fortune favours the brave

Life is driven by destiny. You are the creator of your own destiny. To me this life philosophy means that people who encounter difficulties with courage can achieve massive success in life. A person who hesitate or afraid of venturing into new tasks can do no great deed. It suggests that as to take a risk now and then. People achieve success in life not because of their good luck alone. They achieve success because they are brave enough to remove the obstacles with courage. Things that come to us quite easily are rather lightly esteemed. Prizes won after hard fights are worth having. Favor here means to look favorably upon, or to reward. The brave, refers to anyone who is brave.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step at a time

You may plan and dream all you want about a long journey, but you have to begin somewhere. You may have a vision or agenda for change, but the first step is crucial getting started. So put that foot forward, and realize that this humble step will one day take you down the path to a destination that you may reach only years later. If you wait for things to happen, probably, nothing would happen. You have to take the initiative and act. You need to take the first step, and then the other steps would follow. Waiting, and doing nothing, do not create success, and do not help you achieve your goals, tasks or chores. You need to act. You need to move toward your goal and not wait for the right time, the right circumstances or the right mood.

In the end we only regret the changes we didn’t take.


We can’t turn back the clock of time. Good or bad, right or wrong, it is done. It’s over! One thing you don’t want to say before you die is. I should have done this or I should have said that or I should have loved more, or give more, or experience more. Don’t wait another day to take a risk toward your dreams, don’t wait another day to do an action toward what you feel is right. If you don’t take chances and actions toward your goals, if you play it safe, and feel secure where you are at. You will loose yourself, your dreams will fade away until you don’t believe in them anymore and you will never know what your life could have been, if you would have taken small risks and pushed hard to get to your dreams. When you see an opportunity, take it, cease it and never look back to where you were.

Narrative

Growing up l always loved playing tennis. It was always my escape from the outside world. When l was in grade four l was giving an opportunity to be trained by the Zimbabwean tennis player Byron Black and Cara Black. They gave me this opportunity hoping that l would have bettered my future. They were going to train me for for two to three years because they hoped l could be the next generation of tennis players of our country. I became more and more arrogant and overconfidence. I kept on telling myself that l did not need practice and that l know no matter what l was going to make it in the world of tennis. I started missing practice and lying that l was sick because l did not want to show up to practice. It got to the point where Cara had to call my mom and my mom would have to lie for me because she thought l was at practice too. One day l got home and saw Cara and Byron at my house and they told me that “life is hard but sometime in life we are going to regret passing a great opportunity”. This quote has always struck with me because everyday in life l always wonder how my life would have been if l had just shown up to practice. Maybe, just maybe l could have been the youngest tennis player of Zimbabwe. I wasted this opportunity because l listened to the outside world that was telling me that l am afraid of failure and that l should quit before l failed. From this life experience l have learnt that being afraid of failure has made me pass many changes in my life. In order for us to not regret the changed we passed we have to overcome our fear of failure or else we will never succeed in life so we should grab and hold on to those changes even though we might tend to think that change is negative rather than positive.

Category: Nicole, Sept 2017, Uncategorized | 4 Comments on Live your life with no excuses.
September 15

Life Philosophies

DO NOT GIVE UP

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       The most obvious one. Work hard. Work hard for yourself. Work for the things you want to achieve. On the road to your success you will face many obstacles and feel like giving up. But there is no point in trying and settling for less than you planned to.

       I’d like to share a story of me in grade 10. I was in -2 english and -3 math I knew there were a lot of people taking -2 so I was fine with that but taking -3 math made me feel like I was put into a class full of people who don’t try in school at all. So instead of actually trying I kind of accepted that I was dumb and worthless especially after I searched up -3 math can’t get me a proper job in the future. My parents were disappointed in me and all of my friends were in -1 classes. I didn’t try the whole semester so when I was put into math 10c I realized that this is my chance to work hard and prove to my friends and family that I am capable of something. I ended up getting a higher mark in 10c than I did in -3.

       So that is what motivates me to keep trying in school and not giving up because I am capable of achieving more than I can imagine. Its these small steps that prepare you to keep on working hard. And you all may not see how much potential you all have but believing in yourself and working hard and having a strong mindset will get you where you want to be.

GO OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY LIFE HANDS YOU AND IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE; FORGIVE YOURSELF.

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       Although it can be hard to try things that are nerve racking it is important for all of us to try something new because with new experiences comes more knowledge and opportunities. Maybe when you come out of your bubble, everything you ever wanted can be out there.

      Some of us are not as privileged as others so we should not take anything for granted instead we should make use of yourselves.

        Later on we will realize that bad decisions and choices have only made us more knowledgeable and prepared us for other life challenges. We should all take our mistakes and bad choices as blessings so we are better prepared for next time.We should all learn to forgive ourselves not only for the bad choices we made but for not knowing what we know now. There is strength in forgiving. Because forgiveness does not mean you are over it, it means you understand your worth and you are powerful enough to not let that bring you down.

BE HAPPY AND STAY HAPPY

       Be happy. Once this year is done I encourage you all to plan your future where you feel comfortable around the people you are with and happy with what you do. Take a year off to travel or to work or go to university or any trade school if that is what you want. Because of what I have noticed in my life personally is that if I don’t like the people I’m surrounded by I miss out on the fun. If I don’t genuinely like what I am doing I won’t try at all. Do stuff you’re passionate about no matter what anyone thinks because this is your life follow your dreams and work hard for your goals. If you aren’t happy with where you are in life make goals to change yourself and/or circumstances. Work hard for your happiness. Once you are happy life becomes beautiful to you. Life is too short to always live under other people’s rules. Invest time in yourself and I promise you happiness will follow you.

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LOVE YOURSELF

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       And my one last. Love yourself. Love yourself because no one will do it for you. I feel this one needs to be brought out in today’s society especially since it is such an important part in building yourself. You cannot expect anyone to give you the love you need to be happy. Not your girlfriend not your boyfriend, your best friend or even your family sometimes. I feel like when someone starts to show some attention we become too attached and sometimes in that process of being attracted to someone we detach yourself from us. It is true that every relationship has problems whether it is with your spouse friend or family.But some relationship can be unhealthy. There is a lot of emotional, physical and sexually abuse that happens often in some relationship making it hard for the victim to consider themselves as a victim in the first place. And then it gets hard to walk away or take a stand for yourself especially when the other person is using your weakness against you. I believe the first step to love yourself is to believe that you are everything you will ever need. Before you are someone’s friend, sister, brother, daughter, mom or dad you are your own person. Do not allow anyone to make you their property. Sometime in your lifetime you will have people bringing you down and no matter how hard it gets you need to convince your mind that you are nothing but beautiful.  

        Over the weekend I was caught in between two teenager girls arguing with the mom of the girls ex-best friend.  They started off talking about how her daughter is a “cokehead” and how her boyfriend beats her. Before the mother got to say anything back they yelled at her for not being financially stable and made her feel like society views her lower than everyone else just because she lives on rent. I was standing there trying to process how much hate those girls have for them to not only talk rudely about their ex best friend but also create a scene where they yell at a mother who probably is working hard to keep a roof over her families head. If I was to assume they were telling the truth, it blows my mind just trying to imagine what that young girl might be going through. The abusive boyfriend might be using her weakness against her making it hard for her to realize that she is worth way more than that boy treats her. Maybe she does not have anyone supporting her- helping her gain that confidence to stand up for herself. Maybe due to her innocence she unintentionally gave him the power of control. And that is not a sign of weakness- is a sign of broken love; broken promises; childhood trauma that still needs healing till this day. If the picture of her in my head is true I admire her. As a another girl in this world I want her to know that she will survive this. I feel a really strong connection with her, without even knowing her and if I was to reach out to her I won’t ask why, when, where or any detail of traumatic incidents where she struggles to define her feelings. I will open my arms to her; provide her shelter and prove to her that she will find a way back to herself. 

        One thing everyone can take away with this is to not fear anyone’s rejection, so when you believe what you are, you will respect yourself and the right people will come to you.

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Category: Sept 2017, Simran | 4 Comments on Life Philosophies